Weekend Warriors.
Before I get to last night, let me fill you in on the happenings this weekend and make sure to give me a shout if you want to get down at any stage in the game. Since Ian will be making an appearance you can bet that shit will hit the fan on Sunday evening. Here is the rundown.

Friday
Tonight Noah, Ryan and Andrew are throwing a house warming party at their new pad in the Slope. This is a must attend. I know that was said about Lance’s party and then I bitched out, but I was going to Boston the next day. Here is what Noah had to say:

Hey friends, four years of dorm life for Andrew and me has come to a close. As for Ryan, he just loves to party. You're all invited to our housewarming bash on Friday in honor of our new apartment in park slope. Pertinent info below:
Friday, May 28, 2004 (9pm)
359 7th Ave #1 (b/w 10th and 11th)
Take F to 7th Ave. It lets you out at 7th ave/9th st.
The Party is BYOB so make sure to come double fisting. There is also a deli right downstairs that is open 24 hours so don’t sweat it if you show up empty. Call or email me if you want to roll out with yours truly. The only problem is that Dan won’t have the chance to fall asleep on the train.

Saturday
The biggest sporting event to grace the L.E.S. is taking place this Saturday at 2pm. At the courts on Norfolk and Rivington you have the chance to see Noah and Me take on Beach and Oveis. Dinner and a pile of shit talking rights are on the line, so make sure to grab your coffee and bagel and mosey over to this showdown.

The rest of the day is in the air, but I may hit up my first ever Misshapes. I’m not nearly cool enough to be at this party (as the pictures indicate), but I do love to dance and with Melody Nelson on the decks that’s a must boogie. There is also the possibility of the Detroit Cobras show, but who knows at this point.

Sunday
If you don’t know, than you can’t go. But it will be huge. Ponies and all. Sam Champion and Rana under one roof. Bring it on.

Monday
Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

Antics And Shrimp.
Why do I still feel like shit despite the fact that I was in bed by 11:30pm last night? What’s the deal? My persistent need to pud out hasn’t even gotten me feeling better. This is bullshit. In honor of this, I’m going to go hard this weekend. You may be thinking, but Jay, you always go hard. This weekend is different. I’m going to go so hard that I may never see Monday. Buy me drinks, offer me drugs and don’t expect a great make out session (just kidding!) because I’m going for it. Wait, who am I kidding, I’m just going to keep pud’n out. It suits me.

Anyway, last night Justin, Lucy, Tumblehawk, Daylen, Noah and I went to Boca Chica in honor of Beach’s 24th birthday. I ate some rocking shrimp dish that Daylen recommended. A Corona and a pitcher of Sangria later and this super hero was halfway home to drunk. We skipped out of the restaurant and stopped by 186 to take some knifers with Kyle and the other new roommate Miriam, (if you are wondering, that’s five people who live in the apartment now, but Mim’s stay is temporary). Yeah, that’s right Builder, you lady friend got down! I hope Seattle is treating you well.

After the madness, we headed to the Mercury Lounge to catch the Thermals set. All the proper players were in the house, though I wish Jin wouldn’t have taken so much video. I have a feeling she will post it and embarrassment will come quick and heavy. I must say that with the help of the Beach’s a perfect Culkin was executed on our friend Dave. He was great sport about it, but you had to be, especially one so beautiful. Lucy grabbed Dave’s beer as soon as I dropped to the ground. He didn’t know what was going on, but Beach started chatting him up. After a brief delay Beach gave the push and Dave went down. Another Culkin was attempted on Beach by Denise and Mia, but I believe it was unsuccessful.

Oh yeah, The Thermals played a set. You know it was awesome. I know it was amazing. I’m not going to say anything about it, but if you get the chance, go see them at the Northsix tonight with The Natural History who will be playing some songs off of their forthcoming record.

We also saw The Hold Steady play. I wish they would always have the horns onstage. The cheesy solos add so much to their songs and I mean that in a good way. I was so loopy that I couldn’t handle their whole set. Note to self: No knifers while drinking. In fact, no smoking of any sort.

All Systems In Check.
- If you like the New York Dolls or Rock n' Roll history, read this article from the Guardian and realize that glam can never go away. While you are at it, check out this piece in the Independent on the Fall's frontman Mark E. Smith. 49 members... that's absurd.

- The Director of Independence Day and Godzilla gets set for bad reviews and huge ticket sales. The Day After Tomorrow is now in theaters and I'm sure it will convince some middle Americans to continue to vote Republican. If this film doesn't tickle your fancy, than let's take a ride on the Soul Plane.

- Stevo needs to get Ruben off the Rubens. Many fans are concerned about Studdard's massive intake of babies and box wine.

- Perry Farrell throws Lollapalooza into the political ring. This is a great way to bring awareness to the apathetic youth, but shouldn't we spend more time trying to convince the redneck right that they are wrong?

- I need a ring. I need to find this girl. I need to get married.

- Did anyone else dig Hepcat back in the day? If so, call me and let's go skankin.

- Two things: 1. Why is Scarlett so hot? And I'm not talking about that "hey those girls are kissing so they are hot" kind of hot. She just goes for it and that is fucking sexy. 2. Why am I so obsessed with Page Six today?

- Things are looking up for the Mouse.

- Ok, so around August of last summer I was walking around town with a raging boner that read "The Darkness," but giving them awards for songwriting just seems laughable. They do have another record on the way. Let's see if the wave has an undertow.

- This has caused Beach to have a perma-smile.

- Well, Pete calls it quits on the Libertines once again. I love this band dearly, but lets end the soap opera boys. Can't we kiss and make up? The Vines are playing the same card. Great promo guys!

A write up about last nights Thermals love is on its way, but first I must get some of this paper work off my desk.

I Used To Be Original.
Well, that is until I found this blog. Read it, love it but trust me on this one, try your hardest not to live it. Heartbreak is no easy thing, and one day I may find out why, but until then read Greg the Boyfriend and find out why Emo still has a shelf life. And lady friends, don't tell me how amazing he is or how badly you want to fuck him because I already know. And I'm straight, (last time I checked).

None More Black.
So after a couple of complaints that the White text on a Black background was difficult to read, I'm trying to ease it up for you. What do you think? Will this color work? Is Sivan happy? Will Noah start reading the blog again? Wait, forget Noah he is an asshole, but he is my teammate.

Before I Get Cryptic.
In honor of Beach’s 24th Birthday, I typed his name into the Google Image search and this is what showed up:

I don’t know if Beach recognizes any of these characters, but I’d like to think that this picture comes from one of his family gatherings. Either way, Happy Happy to a top notch kid.

So anyway, I’m reading this book my mother gave me titled The Fourth K that was written by Mario Puzo. Since I returned home two Christmas’s ago and stole her copy of The Godfather, which was written by the same author, my mom has been slipping me books like its her job. Most of these novels fall into one of two categories: 1. written by Mario Puzo 2. pertain to the subject of organized crime.

Ok, so anyway, the story I’m wrapped up in is hitting a little too close to home. The novel is about a fictitious president who has to deal with a group of radical revolutionaries who assassinate the Pope and kidnap the daughter of the Commander and Chief all on the same Easter Sunday. Nearly 24 hours after these synchronized events, the White House receives a fax from the New York Times that warns them against a nuclear bomb that has been placed somewhere in the New York Metropolitan area. Yeah, this is the book I’m reading while all the new terror warnings are flashing across the news. It’s not really helping my state of mind, but at this point, we are forced to confront it. Wait, fuck confronting it. That’s not my style. I’m going to suppress all feelings related to this global uncertainty and forge ahead with two bitching rock shows taking place in a Lower East Side near you. Tonight you have a choice between your rock and your roll.

1. The Thermals, The Hold Steady, The Panthers and Blood on the Wall @ Mercury Lounge
2. Demander, Runner & the Thermodynamics and The Capitol Years @ Sin-e

Both of these shows will be choice so get off you couch and expel the demons that come along with an easy work week. Start this weekend a bit earlier because you have an extra day of recovery.

Last night was spent taking care of a top secret mission that will all come to head this weekend. The actors and the details of the mission must remain under wraps, but as soon as shit hits the fan, I will be sure to post pictures. Keep checking back for something beautiful.

After the mission was completed, Dan, Lou, Kyle and I took to some chilling at 186. It’s been a pretty relaxing beginning of the week. Though I’m totally ready to be immersed back into the pool of rock, I’m not missing the late nights and tequila hangovers… even if it is only for a few days. The fall from grace begins this evening around 7pm. How will you usher in the weekend?

Who Cares?
Before getting to the news, I'd like to say that Who Care's was the name of a dance club that my friends and I used to frequent back in high school. Nothing like feeling up some girl in a parking lot while your friends get high outside of the car. Those were the days. Here are a few news shorts:

- The Beastie Boys get set to sell their souls with summer dates at crappy festivals and radio gatherings.
- Despite Pete's rehab relapse, the Libertines have completed a new record with Mick Jones who also produced Up the Bracket.
- Finally, television that Paul can enjoy.
- Broken Social Scene puts a new record on the back burner until early 2005 so they can play Lollapalooza and hit up Europe.
- Bring on the Hives. They are back, and I can't wait to see what they have to offer.
- John Cale's new record gets a release date stateside, but what's the deal with the label decision. Or Music doesn't deserve someone like Cale.

Just One Of Those Days.
Upon writing the title to this post, I noticed that it is a lyric from a Fred Durst song. It may even be the title to one, but at this point I couldn’t say. Like Paul said, I may be too hipster for that and my haircut prevents me from publicly liking anything on MTV. Thank God my parents pay for the records I buy and the education I received. Oh wait, Paul, I’ve lived on my own dime for the past five years? Put that in your piece pipe and pass it to your wookie friends. Ok, Paul here’s the deal. I’ll stop including your name in my posts as long as you promise never to return to New York. The L.E.S. has missed your beer pouring antics, but after that phone call yesterday where you repeated the word “Die” until you hung up the phone was the last straw. Enjoy Kenowhere, it suits you. Penis goes in vagina. Jesus and I love you.

Sound Body. Sound Mind.
Yesterday I met up with Matty G at the close of the work day. We hit up Kmart so I could pick up a basketball. Their selection was shite, but we managed to find an official size basketball. We stopped by 186 to change into some shorts before heading to the courts on Rivington and Norfolk. Those courts were still closed for after school programs so we tried the park across the street from my apartment. The sign clearly read, “No Adults without the company of children.” This kind of warning is good for pedophiles from the Midwest, but it didn’t serve our purposes. We headed down to the Chrystie Street courts and found a court were we could get some three on three action.

Just by looking at me you can tell I’m out of shape, but this realization doesn’t come to the possessor of the body until they try to exert it in any fashion. After the first game my chest was burning. This could be due to the fact that I haven’t played ball since last fall and my life consists of late nights and substance abuse. It was good to shake some of the rust off before the battle that will take place this Saturday. I don’t know how many of you are aware, but Beach and Oveis have challenged Chernin and me to a game of 2 on 2 with a free dinner on the line. The specifics of where and when are yet to be determined, but you all should come out and witness this moment in sport’s history.

After the game we returned to the 186 where Hawk, Kyle, Noah and Will were sitting around doing a bit of nothing. We scored some more Tiny’s, (Noah and I discussed how we only eat sandwiches) and did some serious couch riding. Hella and Kristen showed up, but they didn’t stick around long because they hit Sunshine to catch a movie while I laid in bed trying to understand Mechanical Rights and Copyright Law.

Get This Party Back Crackin’.
Just a side note. I was searching Google for an image for the upcoming Snoop Dog film Soul Plane and this picture was the first of the results:

In any event the film comes out this Friday and you can believe that I will see it before the weekend comes to a close. Yes, I was there for Pootie Tang, Dude Where’s My Car and Road Trip. So you better believe that I’m all about the Soul Plane

Also, if you never met the lad from Scotland that we like to call Graeme, check out his website which I’ve posted in The Goods section of this website. Him and some buddies have a web design company called Random Feature and they have linked to this blog which I hope brings in a Glasgow crowd because Graeme and his Scot pals are amazing kids. Thanks for the sweet byline Graeme.

Some Weekend Notes.
So I’ve noticed that not much was said about this past weekend, and we are nearly halfway to another one, a long one which is choice. Anyway, let’s hearken back to Friday night when These Bones played the Mercury Lounge. Sean, Kyle, Mike and the drummer whom I’ve yet to hang with have really tightened up their act. They sounded fantastic and this isn’t a bias opinion. We all need to make a push to get them living here full time so they can practice on a regular schedule. Kyle continues to impress me only because at this point last year it seemed like his frontman style had the ability to spiral into something Craig Nicolls would think was absurd.

Kyle has toned it down a bit, but he hasn’t stopped bringing the rock eye candy. At this point their entire song catalog is familiar to me, and I can’t see myself getting sick of their tunes. After the show we were all over the neighborhood, but the best part of the evening came at 2A where I was air drumming some song (as I normally do since I can’t play the real drums) when some dude leaned into me to ask if we were a band. I was sitting with Mike bones, Noah and Dan so I told him we were Arbor Day. He asked if I played drums to which I replied, “What does it look like?” He quickly said, “Yeah, I could tell.”

Saturday was amazing because I took a little ride to Park Slope with Lizzy to check out Noah, Ryan and Andrew’s new digs. We stopped by Matty G’s house for a quick beer and a run in with his mom who is the coolest. We scooted over to the new pad which was fabulous. They have an amazing place, and if you want to help break it in this Friday, then shoot me an email and I’ll let you know how to get in on the house warming party. Later that evening Matt brought some kids over and we did a 20th Birthday hang for him. We got some serious Asshole going. A bunch of kids stopped by, but it’s all a bit hazy because I never got up from the kitchen table until we started playing Kings. One of the cards was Assign a Shotgun and when Dan pulled said card, he gave me the honors. Standing at the sink, I plunged my key into my beer and tried to open the hole with my thumb only to completely rip open the beer and my appendage in one fail swoop. There was a lot of blood, but I taped it up and went to bed.

When I took the bandage off on Sunday morning, I realized that the cut was a bit more serious than I had expected. It broke open a couple of times during the day, but luckily, Denise took care of me the entire day. She gives the tough love when dressing a wound. Denise and I were the drivers for Sunday’s trip to Chili’s.

Other participants include Oveis, Noah, Lucy, Daylen, Mia (who lost her Chili’s virginity) and Beacheros. We went big at the restaurant, but Noah received the first place ribbon for taking down a chicken fried steak with a corn dog for dessert. He promptly puked it all up and has now sworn off Chili’s. We had this hilarious waiter named Andy. He was a riot, but in desperate need of a Culkin.

Later that evening Cami popped in because she was getting set to spend some time in California on business. Both she and Builder are on the left coast because of their jobs and I couldn’t be more jealous. I wish them both safe travels and good times. Dan and Erin also stopped by to play some Mario Tennis.

I’m thinking about getting back into Vids. It definitely makes for a good pick up line.

Monday was extremely lax. Hawk and I met Beach at 2A for a couple drinks before heading to Croxley for their 10cent wing night. We powered through a couple plates and watched some basketball before I went home and passed out before 10:30pm. Going to bed early doesn’t seem to help me much. Maybe I can live without any sleep. We’ll find out this weekend.

I also have been meaning to thank all of you who made it out to the Loose Record Party on Thursday. You guys made it great and there will be more in the future so be sure to check back.

Today’s Ipod Mix included: Primal Scream, Come Together; Clearlake, Come Into the Darkness; The Kinks, Come Dancing; ESG, Come Away; Nirvana, Come As You Are; Oasis, Columbia; Blur, Coffee and TV; Bouncing Souls, Code Blue; My Morning Jacket, Cobra.

Run Lizzy Run.

This is a formal Good Luck & a premature Congratulations to my friend Liz who is heading to San Diego this weekend (or is it next) to run in her first marathon. Running has become a big part of her life in the past year, and I wish her the best on her debut. I know she'll make her goal because she is tougher than a bucket of bullets dipped in glass. If you see this little punk cruising down your Avenue, throw her a Slayer and compliment her new ink.

It's All Over.
Jesus once said, "Teach a man to Phish, he eats for a day. Give a man a bottle of acid, a guitar and some talent and hippies will eat for days." Well, Jesus, what do you have to say for us now that Phish is calling it quits? Will acid no longer be fashionable? Will kids in Vermont start bathing again? Will Jerry Garcia return from the dead? The answer to those and many other questions are that Jay Good Times doesn't give a shit. Paul, hold tight baby. I know you must be dying on the inside.

Noah gave me the link to Jam Bands Dot Com which had this to say:

This afternoon Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio posted a statement on the band's web site, indicating that the Coventry performances will be the final gigs for the band. Here is that statement in its entirety

"Last Friday night, I got together with Mike, Page and Fish to talk openly about the strong feelings I've been having that Phish has run its course and that we should end it now while it's still on a high note. Once we started talking, it quickly became apparent that the other guys' feelings, while not all the same as mine, were similar in many ways -- most importantly, that we all love and respect Phish and the Phish audience far too much to stand by and allow it to drag on beyond the point of vibrancy and health. We don't want to become caricatures of ourselves, or worse yet, a nostalgia act. By the end of the meeting, we realized that after almost twenty-one years together we were faced with the opportunity to graciously step away in unison, as a group, united in our friendship and our feelings of gratitude."

"So Coventry will be the final Phish show. We are proud and thrilled that it will be in our home state of Vermont. We're also excited for the June and August shows, our last tour together. For the sake of clarity, I should say that this is not like the hiatus, which was our last attempt to revitalize ourselves. We're done. It's been an amazing and incredible journey. We thank you all for the love and support that you've shown us."

My cheeks hurt from smiling too much, but I do send my deepest sympathy to my friends who truly groove on this band. But, like most of your acid trips, what goes up, must come down.

Nobody Tells Me Anything.
Upon my arrival in the office, I check my email to find promo from both Karen and Sivan regarding the Demander show on Thursday, May 27th (Beachero's birth date and the same night as The Thermals at the Mercury). They will be playing Sin-e with Runner & The Thermodynamics so get there if you can. What I didn't know was that Karen's Birthday was May 14th. Was it really? Karen, when can I take you out for tacos? I had no idea. I made no birthday call. I have no class. Either way, goto the show.

Also, this evening there is an Asobi Seksu show at the new L.E.S. club called Rothko. The show is only eight bones and is being put on by Melody Nelson and Jenyk. Other bands playing incude: The Big Sleep (who jin highly recommends) and Ariel Love Feed. Come out and show the love. Asobi Seksu is one of those bands I've been meaning to see for a good year now. I actually left a couple shows they were headlining because of previous engagements. Tonight (barring any previous engagements) I will be at Rothko.

Jin's Picture Book.
Jin has posted links to more pictures from the party on Thursday. Click here to check these bitches out. Jin, I hope you don't mind me using these! Here is Mandell giving the thumbs up and Hawkins who seemed to be in every single picture.


Dennis and Juliet with Audrey (wo)manning the wheels in the background.


A proper picture of Ms. Melody Nelson (left) and Juliet. Jin titled this picture Hot Girls. Rightfully so!


We packed it in! Thanks peps!


The beautiful boy on the right is Mikey. He took the pictures below. His link is in "The Goods" section of this page. Hire him and give him your money to take pictures.

Picture This.
Mikey just sent me a couple pictures he took at the Loose Record Party. Thanks go out to Mike for all his help! This first picture is a group shot from outside of the bar.

L-R: Leah, Cami, Katie’s Ass, Amy, My Ass, Howerton, Alistair (in mid air), Baldass, Travis (grabbing), Max’s Ass, and Dee.

Dennis Cahlo (Sons of Sound & The Realistics) laid down a great Dj set for the kids. Here he is with his new favorite beer. Is someone in the back making out?


This picture is me with Mike's girlfriend Amy. No-ice! Future employers, girlfriends and in-laws take note. This is only a joke. I don't look this crazy, (most of the time).


Here is Tony with his bitches. He's Rich Biatch. A better question is who are those girls and why don't I know them?


This is Cami enjoying some delicious Smithwick's, (or whatever the hell it's called). Pink is a good color for her.


Moustache May is in full effect. Kyle flashes the goods in angelic fashion. Who buys that shirt? Who wears sunglasses inside? Who shows that much chest hair? My roommate dammit. That's who.


Here is my partner and lover. Some people call him Hawkins, but I call him sugar. I don't know why his pants aren't on and by the looks of it, neither does Dee. Gay may not be the right word, but it definitely comes to mind.

This picture has been removed because people are scared.

Eric from Say Hi To Your Mom graced us with a few tracks solo style. I got some good hang time with Eric before the evening started. He's a good chap and crafty songwriter.


This is me in my summer 2004 t-shirt hanging in the booth with Dj Jinners. She played some great tunes that included the Rentals, Dirty on Purpose & Weezer, (be still my heart).


I don't know what's more amazing: the face that Builder is making, that dude on the left who I've never seen before or the Chili's screensaver in background. Sumbit your vote.


Just in case Smithwick's is looking for a new add to place in the Fader or Vice; here is Hawkins.

Ditto on this photo.

Haiku Me This.
Since I haven’t updated for a few days and an entire weekend has gone past (in which I was without the interweb) you can probably guess that a huge update is on the way. Well, you are right, but at this point I’m just going to write a Haiku about each day.

Thursday
Tiki Coladas.
Three fantastic DJ Sets.
One happy blogger.

Friday
Midtown is scary.
Park Slope has its unique charm.
These Bones love the rock.

Saturday
Matt G is twenty.
Get your kicks at 186.
Shotguns and some blood.

Sunday
Chili’s anyone?
Bring on the Babyback Ribs.
Safe travels Cami.

I’ll be filling in the gaps for you later today.

Come Get Lei'd!

Tonight's the night baby so blow up on these. Free Tiki Colada's from 10pm - 11pm followed by Free beer till we drink all of the free beer!

There is a post on the way so check back.

Andy Kaufman Is Back?
Check it: here and here. (Thx Noah)

Best Things In Life Aren't Free.
So making party isn’t easy. Usually the elements for a healthy portion of party come together smoothly, but that isn’t the case for the blowout we are planning tomorrow. There is a lot of back and fourth mixed with some mild frustration that makes things difficult, but luckily Hawkin’s level headed attitude balances out my persistent need of perfection and control. Let me just announce now that you will want to get to the party early because we are giving away FREE Tiki Coladas from 10pm until 11pm. DJ Jinners will be filling your ears with goodness during that hour. Around 11pm Eric from Say Hi To Your Mom is going to play a few songs for the crowd. Then Dennis Cahlo (Sons of Sound & Realistics) will control the wheels of steel for a bit before Melody Nelson brings the hits. If any of your are still standing once all of that is finished up, than I will play some tracks that will lead us blindly into the night, (by tracks I mean a Queen mix cd). Sound like fun? Sound like party? Well, you are right.

So I’ve probably made it apparent that last night was spent taking care of little tasks for Thursday. Erin and Dano picked me up from work and came over to hang out and order some shib. Cami and Builder both showed up so the four of them hung out in my room playing the best video game ever; Mario Tennis. I ended up having to put together this compilation disc that each and everyone one of you will receive at the party tomorrow night. Once that was completed Builder, Cami and I decided to hit Festival for some cheap Mexican grub. It may have been our worst Festival outing ever. Though Cami and I are huge fans, we were both discouraged by the length of time it took for us to get our Margaritas. The food was fine, but again they were slammed and only had one waitress so we waited and exorbitant amount of time. We quickly threw back our entrees and got the fuck out of dodge.

Cami then came back to 186 with us to help me put together the giveaway bags for tomorrow night. People, let me tell you, you are going to want one of these so keep your fingers crossed. We have tons of cd’s, t-shirts and other gear to pass out. We started putting bags together, but it didn’t work out because we need something to put them in. Kyle is hooking that up today so I can pack it all up tonight.

So anyway, I may be going to the Strokes show tonight. Are you going to be there? My chances are slim, but I’m holding out hope. If I don't do that than I'm going to try and make the Knife Skills set at Pianos because Anna is Badass. Don't mess with Texas.

Bitch's Call Me Starfucker.
Last night was interesting. When did Monday become the new Thursday? Was it when Thursday became the new Friday and then Monday ceased to exist all together? What the fuck am I talking about? Anyway, we rocked it pretty hard last night. Allow me to explain.

Yesterday kind of happened by accident. I was experiencing some much needed chill time when my door buzzed. Mike and Sean bones showed up to drop off a copy of their Britney Spears’ cover of Toxic for Loose Record Vol. 1 which each and everyone of you will receive upon exit or entrance of the party on Thursday. Then Chernin cruised through to drop off a mastered copy of his full length. I’m thinking we should put Company Dance on the disc, but if you have suggestions than post them below. Hawk and Kyle returned home and we all hung out for a bit.

Around 8pm Noah, Hawk and I headed to grab some pizza before the Mooney Suzuki show at the Bowery Ballroom. We ran into Beach who gave us the lowdown on the evening’s events. We parted ways with Noah and met Beach in front of the club where he was chilling with Oveis. Yes, that’s correct; Oveis was out on a week night. Anyway, we cruised into main room where the Sexy Magazines were just starting their set. Does anyone out there like these guys? Seriously… I don’t quite understand what they are trying to do. Its shit punk played through a Strokes hook machine with a front man who can’t stop fucking about with his pants. See what I mean?

They have a lot of energy (their only endearing quality), but there is nothing about their music that could be considered memorable. They are young though… give them plenty of sun light and water and with a little luck they may sprout. Bonus points go to the front man for being such a jackass with the mic stand that the sound guy came on stage and took it away from him.

We went downstairs for their last couple of songs where Beach, Hawk, Oveis, Notch, Action, Renee, Denise, Mia, John and I had some drinks while waiting for the Mooney to take the stage so we could find out what they’ve been up to while in hiding. We slid back up to the corner to get ready for a rock assault that couldn’t really cut through warm butter.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Johnny Garage. Mr. Loves Everything couldn’t get into the Mooney’s set last night. Their first song sounded like garbage despite the fact that it was announced by Little Steve Van Zandt whom most of you know from Springsteen Tours and The Sopranos. Their mix was way off, but by the time their second track was halfway done they brought the vox up and the lead guitar. They played a ton of old shit which kind of baffled me. I was set to hear the new Matrix produced tracks, but we only got a handful. From what I can remember the songs weren’t the crazy psychedelic cuts I was expecting. The tempo was taken down a bit which doesn’t suit their explosive style. Overall the set was decent, but I would think twice about seeing them before they have a chance to break all the rust off. Hopefully that happens sooner than later, because it sucks when you can’t hear Sammy’s vox because he checking to make sure he is playing the right chord. Bonus points for their killer "#1" banner drapped in the back along with the giant #1 hand the drummer was running around with. I think Hawkins tried to steal it.

After the show we headed downstairs where a small after party was brewing. I talked to Dave from the Realistics who is now drumming in a rock-a-billy cover band (he even has the side chops to prove it). Chris Davies was also floating around and said hello. Mike D was proper buzzed and I’m psyched to see he got in because things didn’t look good for him earlier in the day. He tried to get me to follow him to 2A but I was too drunk to pursue more bevvies. Hawkins must have been wearing his PR suit because he was working the room like a madman. At one point I looked over and Courtney Love was resting her arm on his shoulder probably while trying to explain how to make a speed ball. I also got a chance to introduce myself to Ryan Gentles who was a super nice guy and he had a killer Yankees T on. That concludes the starfucker/namedropper portion of this post.

Anyway, I couldn’t hack it anymore so we packed up and hit the skids. Hawk and I made it home by 12:30am and I was passed out by 1am. Glorious.

It's Been Too Long.

I'm gonna lay a little news action on you:

The Siren Festival just got a whole lot tougher with the addition of Trail of Dead, the Thermals, Mission to Burma, the Vue and the Electric Six.

Pull out those old tour t-shirts and leather pants, Black Sabbath is back.

Sit back and have a laugh with a Q&A between Exclaim! and David Cross.

You need to hear this music. It's not for the snobby rock kids, you know who you are, but if you dig dark beats, check it out.

Dean Izzard is fighting for drama and linguistics. He may not be dean, but he is a funny fucker.

Don't do it Pete! Pete Libertine is now on Suicide Watch. He recently checked back into rehab and now the doctors are scared he may ride the white (or brown) horse into the night.

The new Streets record gets a solid review in Pitchfork. Come to the party on Thursday for your chance to win a promo copy.

This is a pretty cool idea. NME brings together the masters with the emulators. Strokes with Reed. Ordinary Boys with Weller. Franz with Morrissey.

Boston Part Deux.

I am currently gripped with frustration due to the repetitive nature of my job. If I have to answer another question about Law School registration, there is a distinct possibility that I could go postal. Maybe a nice lunch in the shining sun will calm my nerves, but it seems like a reach.

Let me get back to our weekend trip to Boston. Before I go on let me say that Beach did redeem his Chili’s mistake, but I will get to that later.

Ian Perry The Drink Serving Fairy.

As I was saying, Perry took care of us from the moment we walked into his restaurant. He works with an intense fury only matched by his insane attitude at rock shows. He flips bottles and glasses with such grace and efficiency that you almost forget about the drink in front of you. He also hooked us up with some of the thin crust pizzas that Mistral offers. One such pizza had mashed potatoes and steak on top which you could top with a chili infused oil. Yeah, think about that combo and then believe when I say it was phenomenal. We struck up conversation with some guy at the bar who was reading a Billy Martin book and telling us how he had once seen The Kinks at the Orpheum, (but not the shitty 8T’s Kinks, we are talking heyday). A tequila shot later and we were in a restaurant provided BMW (I think) on our way to the venue.

The Orpheum is placed at the end of this ally and its innards have the look and feel of a decaying theater (which is exactly what it is). We had enough time to slug a beer before heading to our seats. We had to do this because the asstastic Massachusetts Blue Laws prevents you from doing anything with beer besides standing in one place and slugging it. In a city of alcoholics, how does this still exist? There is also the fact that there is no hard liquor sold at the venue meaning no Strokes tequila shots to which I reply, Horse Shit!

We found our excellent seats that had materialized with some work done by the Beach. He came through huge on this show, and many thanks go out to him. We were one of the few groups of kids standing during The Stills opening set. They were amazing and deserved more love than the sparsely populated theater was giving them. Their crashing sound filled the room with warm Canadian love and hits like Lola, Changes are No Good, Still in Love, Gender Bombs and my personal favorite Yesterday Never Tomorrows made my happy feet bounce around in their carved out spot in front of seat 110. At the completion of another impressive set, we headed back out to the lobby to grab a beer.

We waited in a crazy line to purchase our bevvies. Once we got to the front of the line the lady asked to see our ID’s. The fucking bitch rejected mine because it was a duplicate. Boston if you are reading this, your fucking town sucks. She said she was putting her liquor license in jeopardy. What the fuck does that mean? Could this woman get in trouble for selling a 23 year old kid a beer? Is that how fucked beantown is? I asked to see the manager of the Orpheum and she said “This is my place,” to which I replied, “Your place is Bullshit,” and walked away. Beach managed to score another beer for me while Oveis and Builder made out in the shadows.

There was a bit of a delay before the Strokes came out (I doubt it was due to cocaine use), but they were well worth the wait. In fact, they were fucking amazing. All the haters should cut the bullshit and give them a chance. Blah blah blah it’s been done before. Blah blah blah Julian puts a vocal effect on so he sounds like Lou Reed. Blah blah blah they bit all their new riffs from The Cars self titled record. Though many of these comments could hold water, who gives a shit, its music, enjoy what you are seeing because it’s fucking great and not because some jackass from Pitchfork told you it was ok to like the artist. Honestly, I haven’t heard stage banter of Julian’s caliber for quite some time. He was making fun of the crowd (“What do you do at night? Homework?”), the Redsox upon hearing a Yankees suck chant (“Shut the Fuck up. Are we at a baseball game? Anyway, check the standings.”) and blasting encores (“They are fucking stupid, we never do them”). He also climbed around the stage like a monkey. He ran up the isle a few times and also climbed the stacks into the balcony boxes during their final song, Take It or Leave It. That song sums up their entire attitude and after Saturday nights show, I will take all they are willing to give.

Speaking of The Cars, how awesome is this Rolling Stone cover?

After the show we stopped by the Hub Pub on a back street near the venue. We chatted up the bartender who was quite a Boston esq solo shitshow. When Beach asked if they served Red Bull (for me) the bartender quickly quipped “We have Budweiser.” Perry showed up and after we hammered down some bar food we made our way to the White Horse to see Builder’s friend bartend. He hooked us up with a couple drinks which was cool since I had been Culkined in his bar. The other cool part was that there was a huge line of Boston kids waiting to get in, and we got ushered right past them. There is nothing better than burning a pile of douche bags.

We made it out of that bar to meet up with Perry’s friends Mike and Russ. We stopped in Daisy Buc’s bar for a quick drink, but there were too many frat dudes singing Bon Jovi songs to teenage girls who dressed like tramps so we tried another bar down the street. We were quickly kicked out of that one because Mike (though he was trying to help) knocked a tray out of a waitresses hand before we had a chance to grab a drink. Our last stop was Berkowski’s which didn’t serve hard liquor either. What the fuck? By 2am we were ready to hit it (and it was last call) so we went outside to get a cab when all of a sudden we find ourselves in the back of a grocery deliver van. For some reason Perry knew the driver who hooked us up with a ride back to the apartment. I quickly passed out while watching Swingers.

The next day we had a solid brunch before hitting the road. As you know we stopped at the Danbury Chili’s for a quite margarita and some ribs. Cami came by after I returned home to help me eat some ribs and to catch me up on the weekend. Dan showed up and we sat around bullshitting for a couple hours before I passed the fuck out.

Don't Forget!

Word on the street is that we will have free Tiki Colodas on top of some Red Stripe so come ready to party.

Get Out Of The Car You Fucking Idiot.

What a long strange trip its been. Beach, Builder, Oveis and I are currently navigating our way through the streets of Boston in hopes of finding our way out a bit easier than our trip into the beast. We are giving the finger to Fenway Park and yelling a collective “Fuck Boston.” If I ever come back to this city, it will be too soon.

I may be over exaggerating my disdain for the city of Boston, but some of it is true. One thing you can say about Boston is that within its walls of frat boys and teenage girls resides a king amongst men. We like to call this divinely appointed warrior Perry. Getting ourselves to the high court was no easy task. Grab a glass of water, smoke a joint and tuck in because I’m about to begin one of the most triumphant stories in stoner boner history.

Saturday morning’s itinerary was simple, and with the self enforced (and desperately needed) early Friday night, I was sure our traveling would go off without a hitch. The day started with Builder and I waking up an hour late. Actually I woke up on my own, only to find that he had done the same. We quickly cleaned ourselves up and packed a couple replacement t-shirts before hitting the road. After maneuvering through some West Side Highway traffic we reached cruising speed on the Saw Mill. Yesterday’s weather was prime for a nice drive and the road to Bedford to pick up Beach and Oveis who had gone home the previous evening.

We were greeted by Mrs. Beach who directed us to the front door where Mohawk was waving us in. After a brief exploration of the childhood house of the Beach, the four boys plus Lucy and Mohawk made our way across the street where the carnival was taking place. The kids rode a couple rides without me for two reasons: 1. I can’t stand carnival rides. After the incident at the Clearfield County Fair where a kid was thrown from the swings, I decided that completed my adventures on the Gravitron. 2. Have you ever noticed how often I vomit? If not, you don’t know me well enough. We caught a quick burger and snow cone and set our sights on Boston, (after getting more sandwiches, of course).

The names in the following piece have been changed to protect the identity of the innocent.

The ride went really well at least for the first two hours and twenty minutes. We were cruising along through the sun-drenched state of Massachusetts when the shit hit the fan. Malkmus was blaring across the stereo as we approached a State Police Station along on the Mass Pike when Captain Cupcake informed the rest of the car that a cruiser had pulled behind us. Upon peering into my side mirror, I realized we were fucked because the blue statey was riding the bumper for a hot second before he flipped the lights and pulled us over.

What I’ve neglected to tell you is that Huevos, Ponyboy, Ortega and Double C were freshly toasted after we spent the past 10 minutes passing a batty around the car. Unfortunately we were about to be hit by a serious buzz kill.

It was a matter of seconds from when we pulled onto the shoulder to when the State cop had opened Ortega’s front passenger side door. The cop politely asked me to, “Get out of the car you fucking idiot. I did as instructed and stood by his cruiser. It only took him a moment to find my stash that had be kicked under the seat. He walked right up to me and asked me why I am such an idiot. Realizing the rhetorical nature of the question, I proceeded to keep my mouth shut while he berated me with the story of driving down the highway and seeing a pipe handed to me from the back seat. He asked if I had all the pot and I couldn’t say anything. He asked which person gave me the pipe and I said the driver, Captain Cupcake had not smoked. While searching me, he stuck his hand down my left front side jean pocket. At that same instance, 4:19pm to be exact, Dan called me. Since my phone is set on vibrate, the office got startled and quickly pulled out, (how many times have I said that about my cop boyfriends?). He told me to take a seat in the grase while he dealt with the rest of the monkeys.

He went back to the car and pulled Huevos out of the back seat after asking which one of them was going to talk to him next. Upon being pulled out, the officer started on Huevos asking him why he was back talking. Huevos pot was found along with an assortment of sweets in his left cargo pocket. Huevos was then ordered to sit in the grass while he interrogated Capt Cupcake and Ponyboy. We were lined up along the Mass Pike with 10 feet between each of us while he rooted through the car looking for the big score. Luckily he didn’t find all the meth I had on me. Please tell me you know I’m joking.

Capt and Pony were told to get back into the Champagne Supernova (II) while Huevos and Ortega were left to sweat it out. He then proceeded to ask Huevos and I a series of questions regarding our residence, employment and an inquisition on how I could be so “fucking stupid”. Now I don’t condone breaking the law in any capacity, but there was some punk inside of me trying his damnd’st to say something like “It was only a little pot”. Thank god I kept my mouth shut.

At this point the officer returned to his vehicle to figure out how he was going to deal with the situation. Awaiting your punishment from a police officer is nothing that I would recommend. It can’t even compare to my days as a kid when I would be threatened by my mother who would use the “You wait till your father hears what you’ve done,” line to instill the fear of god into her children. Huevos and I were in danger of a tarnished permanent record along with the possibility of spending the night locked up in jail which would prevent us from seeing The Strokes.

After an intense 5 or 10 minutes (that felt like hours), the cop called me over behind the cruiser. He then handed my jar over and asked me to toss the two one-hitters into the woods. Upon throwing the first one, the officer asked “Do you throw a baseball like that?” I tossed the second and was then instructed to break up my grass and throw it to the ground. At this point I realized we were getting off, but I was still a bit shaky. Huevos was downwind from where we were standing so the officer told me to “Break it up real good. I don’t want it going into his hair and then you smoking it later.” Yup, I’m serious, but the cop’s best comment must have come while he was instrucking Huevos to do the same as me.

By the time Huevos was breaking up his grass for the kind officer, I was in the back seat of the car telling Capt Cupcake and Ponyboy that things were cool. They asked why I meant, and I relayed the fact that we were getting off without any tickets or penalties. While Huevos was turning his buds into shake the officer told him to “Break it up real small. I don’t want any squirrels getting high.” Huevos returned to the automobile and we pulled away visibly shaken but physically unscathed.

With that behind us, we made way for Boston with the full understanding that God (or something) had rock predestined for our evening. After getting lost and receiving some bogus directions from a drunk in the liquor store we finally found Perry’s apartment. We unloaded and cleaned ourselves up before stopping by Mistral which is a swanky restaurant were Perry tends bar.

We’ve all seen Tom Cruise in the international smash hit Cocktail. Don’t be shy. Remember when his bright eyed character gets out of the military and heads for the big city only to find he doesn’t have the credentials to become a Wall Street player so he decides to work at a bar where he learns about love, responsibility and how to flip bottles around while making cool drinks? Well, that sums up Perry’s attitude at work, (except for the love and responsibility thing). This kid has the touch behind the bar and he is a workhorse. The management must realize how lucky they are to have this kid on board.

On Friday I had a t-shirt made for this exact moment. I wanted to roll into Perry’s place of business with something that truly conveyed how much I love this kid. Once I saw Perry behind the bar, I opened my sport coat to reveal my t-shirt which read “Ian Perry Is A Bastard.” Perry took it like a champ and as Beach said we could have sold 10 of them if we had the product. All of Perry’s coworkers along with a few of the patrons thought the shirt was a riot. It was a burn, but a welcomed one.

I’d like to note on the record, that we just placed a pick-up order to the Chili’s in Danbury and Beach did not order an entrée. He passed. Mr. Chili’s himself did not order an entrée. To say I’m hurt may be putting it lightly, so I’m going to say I’m disappointed.

At this point I’m going to stop this entry and let you know that it will be continued tomorrow. Have a great night and don't forget to check back for more.

I Just Orgasmed.

So I just got back to the office and checked my email. Much to my surprise ES motherfucking G will be playing the 4th Anniversary Party for the Motherfucker party series. This will be amazing. If you've never scene me dance make sure to get to this show because, as I told Cami yesterday, a magical fairy came in to my room and dusted my feet with pixie dust, (I think her name was Paul).

Also, check out "The Goods" section on the right. I've added links to Christie's, David's and Graeme's web pages. Give these kids some love because they deserve it.

And finally, because I know you want to see it, here is a picture of Mohawk Aka Tumbleweed Aka Danny at the In and Out Burger on our recent trip to Coachella (photo by Builder). I'm proud to say I hang out with this kid.


A recap of last nights Diesel Party (complete with name dropping) is coming later. Don't forget about tonights party, details are posted below.

Gang Affiliation.

I'm really not tough, but the picture proves differently. Builder took this picture of me while we were waiting for a band at Coachella.

Get Loose.

Shaking Like Michael J.

Wow, things need to calm down. If the summer days proceed to be insane like the spring months, than I may be in for a serious breakdown opportunity. As many of you know I have the shakes. Hence the title to this post. Obviously I haven’t been diagnosed with Ali disease yet, but it could be on the horizon. God forbid, but really, the higher being hasn’t thrown me anything that hasn’t been knocked out of the park. I just hope May or June affords me the chance to take a second and star up at the clouds; otherwise I’m going to be a cantankerous young man. Well, I’m probably overacting, but a vacation is in order. Make sure to read this whole post so you know what’s the hap’s of the crap’s for this weekend.

Tuesday’s Gone With The Wind.

Hmmmm… Tuesday. That’s the one after Monday right? Tuesday started with some business at 186 after work. Hawkins and I have been moving and shaking in hopes of getting this party blown up. Please make an effort to come drink a few free beers at the first Loose Record Party. It will be a good time and that’s my guarantee. We were feeling a bit sluggish which caused us to ponder skipping out on the evening until Chris called to say he would give us a ride out to Brooklyn.

It was Ms. Amy “Cupcake” Hunt’s birthday so Mikey decided to throw her a barbeque in his back yard out in Williamsburg. We showed up around 9pm just when Mike was firing up the grill. His roommate Paul’s mother was visiting for graduation which was all too cute. We made our way out back where Katie, Sarika, Janeanne, Chuck and some other peps whose names escape me were chilling with the guest of honor and the chef. We listened to stories of Katie lighting her farts on fire while Michael looked as though he would burn down the greater half of Brooklyn. More kids flooded in including Melanie, Noor and Josh. Most of my time there was spent trying to help Chris come up with a new band name, but we had no luck. Katie had the best idea, but I can’t put it here because you might steal it. I liked mine, Uberstank, because Chris likes Hoobashit for some reason.

We skipped back to Manhattan around 11pm aiming to celebrate the birthday of Sivan and Kelly’s bar Bside. Though I was in the bar a few times before knowing the owners (in fact I believe drugs were purchased out front last summer), my first memory of Sivan was on August 14, 2003. That’s right 8.14 kids, the night of the Blackout. We had been sitting on milk crates out in front of 224 watching the sun go down when we ran out of Whiskey. Sivan was kind enough to sell me six packs of beer at bar price. The warm Brooklyn Lager was music to my mouth. The cops and the owners of Mona’s didn’t appreciate it when John Watts and I started throwing bottles in the street while Kyle set off fireworks, but we will just chalk it up to the Blackout, (the actual incident, not the British Sea Power track).

Anyway, we arrived and found most of the gang still intact. Cami, Leah, Justin, Christie, Ryan, Noah, Andy, Josh, Sivan, Karen and Patrick were all present. I spent most of my time catching up with Karen since we rarely see each other anymore. Karen, why are our schedules so busy? Can we change this? She looked quite cute in her Sunday’s best in honor of the bar’s Anniversary. Eventually the night started running late so we headed out, but not before Christie and I stopped in at Radio Perfecto for a couple Tequila shots.

David Cross Is A Funny Fuck.

Dan came over after yesterday’s work hours came to a close. We were planning to watch David Cross’ DVD that I picked up earlier this week. Instead Dan had to sit around and help Builder build the web site for Loose Record. Don’t fret; it will look pretty in a day or two. The work got done after some deliberation and bingers, and we finally got to sit and watch the hilarious Cross flick, Let America Laugh. If you haven’t seen this yet, then buy me a six pack and come by the house. We will laugh our asses off for a couple hours. Don’t expect a bunch of stand up. The style of the film is genius, and you are just going to half to see it.

Weekend Benefits. All Tomorrow's Parties.

Friday's Big Brooklyn Party.

Get Fucked For Film!
Friday, May 14 (10pm)
@ Lance & Jody’s House (Park Slope, Bklyn)

There will be three kegs of cold PBR and several gallons of vodka tonics available for a mere $10. If there are any proceeds, they will go directly to Lance Edmand’s thesis film to pay for equipment, supplies and computer graphics for the battle scene.

We will party outside and inside, as we have a giant backyard.

To Get There:
1) Take the F or G train to Carroll Street (Brooklyn)
2) Walk with traffic down Smith
3) Left on Sackett Street
4) Walk to number 171 (between Henry and Hicks)

Call us: 917.912.7893 or 917.912.1250

We've got a huge backyard patio and two floors of action. Many are
expected, so don't miss out!

P.S. There will be a secret Ipod set by Your’s Truly in the Drug Room late in the evening, (so don’t feed me pills!).

Saturday's Rooftop Party.

From RANA’s email list:

So we fuckin park by the Warfield in our buddy Sarno's Toyota Previa, go in to enjoy show, hang with Warren and meet the Dead. We return to the van only to find broken glass, no window, no les paul and pea bass along with Sarno's laptop and discman. Ouch. Chalk it up to crack. Here are the deets on a benefit to raise money for these stolen goods:

Robin's Roof Top (57 Pitt St #19, NY)
Saturday, May 15, (3:30 - 10:30pm)
Phone: 646.245.9827
$25 suggested donation for the band.

Please join us for the first (and hopefully last) Rock-Roll barbecue
benefit. This sad and touching story has moved us to take action. Let's help the boys recover some of what they lost by throwing a bad-ass afternoon throw-down benefit.

WE will provide the food and all the fixins for a nice afternoon of
Eating in the sun and the bar will be stocked with plenty of mixers and ice, (we will also have some beer on hand to help the party get started). YOU should show up with your appetite and a bottle of whatever it is that you plan on mixing at the bar.

We hope to see you there...

Saturday Evening Show.

If you don’t know Max Schwartz yet, buckle your pants and get prepare yourself. His band, Walk Humongous) will play this Saturday evening. Here are the details:

COLOSSUS: Hell or High Water
Saturday, MAY 15 (9pm till late)
Performances by Walk Humongous & Human Host
@ 232 Taaffe Pl. #502A (Clinton Hill, Bklyn)
$5 Keg Beer all night

From Manhattan take F, L, or A to the G. Take the G to the Classon stop. Walk one block WITH traffic on Classon, make R on Dekalb, walk one block, make L on TAAFFE. Party is at the middle of the block on the left, Look for signs.

Still In The Mix.

Hey guys, check out the Loose Record web site. It has all the info for the upcoming party. I hope to see you all there. There is a post on the way... trust me. Work has finally slowed down and today you'll be getting something.

Fiber For The Soul.

This post has been on the back burner for quite some time. My initial efforts to compose it were thwarted by the planning involved for this party Hawkins and I are throwing. Here is the information so make sure you save the date. We will be turning it out and getting you drunk. I will throw the flyer up once it is finished by the oh-so-helpful Christie. There is also a web site for the party in the making, so don’t stray too far from your keyboards because you won’t want to miss this event.

The Loose Record Listening Party.
Sponsored by Red Stripe
Thursday, May 20th (10pm)
@ The Tiki Room (4 W 22nd St btwn 5th/6th Ave)

Hear New Tracks from: The Catheters (Sub Pop), Dirty on Purpose (Self-Release), The Fever (Kemado), Say Hi To Your Mom (Euphobia Music), The Streets (Vice), The Thermals (Sub Pop), The Trouble With Sweeney (Burnt Toast) & Washington Social Club (Badman).

With Guest Dj’s: Jinners (On the Moon Music), Melody Nelson (Vicious), Dennis Cahlo (Sons of Sound) and your’s truly, J Good Times.

Featuring a live performance by Say Hi To Your Mom (solo).

With FREE Red Stripe till you drink it all and tons of Give Aways from the artists.

So make sure you wear your dancing shoes and come ready to get a buzz on while listening to some solid Dj’s and all of this new music. Everyone in attendance will receive a free compilation CD featuring a single from these new releases provided by Candis Communications in conjunction with Digi Distro.

The Weekend Of Mom.

Friday was mucho excellent because Mommy Belin stopped at the office on her way to Long Island to have lunch with her favorite (and only) son, me! We had lunch at the Grey Dog Café which my mom, who digs all things “hip,” immensely enjoyed. After lunch she cruised over to 186 to hang out with Hawkins before I got off work and we headed to Long Island.

Mom and I sat on the LIE for quite some time before we got to the Willis Ave exit near Glen Cove. We arrived at the infamous Uncle Jay and Aunt Annette’s house just in time to start up the barbeque while having drinks in the back yard Tiki Bar. Annette showed up with Aunt Suzanne who came up from Miami to celebrate Momma’s Birthday and this boy’s graduation. By 9pm I was running late so I took the Buick and sped back to Manhattan.

After a quick stop at the pad, I headed to the Bowery to meet up with some kids who were catching the Canadian Pop Rock Band Sloan. This four piece played inoffensive pop rock from across the boarder that I couldn’t get into. Builder leaned into me and mentioned that he would rather be seeing the Mr. T Experience which I couldn’t help but agree with. Once the band was done, Mia, Daylen, Beach, Builder and I piled into Denise’s car and headed to Bside where Noah was celebrating his 22nd Birthday.

Once we arrived at the bar, the shitshow ensued. It got a bit out of control. Noah and DTL managed to bring the Shins with them since they had a weekend to hang after the Moz show. I chatted up Marty for a bit, but like the rest of the evening, I can’t remember what the hell we talked about. At some point in the evening, a group of us that included Beach, Noah, Daylen and Mandel made our way to 7A for a meal that included Nachos, Buffalo Wings and Mozzarella Sticks. The entire meal was consumed in three minutes which could be a new record.

When I woke up the next morning, Hawkins and Noah were sleeping in the kitchen. They informed me that 186 was the scene of the nights after party. This was all unbeknownst to the boy passed out on the pillow top mattress.

Saturday Came And Went.

After such a strong Friday, I couldn’t believe what we pulled off Saturday morning. As I was saying, Hawk and Noah were already in house. After the wake and bake Builder and Miriam joined us. We decided that I was going to orchestra a massive brunch effort. We convinced Builder to hit up Key Foods while Noah and I went to Dunkin Donuts for a Box O’ Joe which is a nifty contraption they offer to their customers. Matty G showed up to partake in the meal that included my special Chocolate Chip and Banana Pancakes along with some bacon, egg and cheeses on English Muffins. Hawk made a round of screwdrivers with the Vodka my sister gave me which was icing on the cake.

After brunch I hopped into the Buick and headed back out to Glen Cove only to find an empty house upon arrival. Eventually everyone showed up and we got another barbeque on. Some of the Mufson’s friends came over while Hawk and Christie made the trip out from Manhattan. The whole party was hilarious. You don’t know how cool it is to be standing under a Tiki Bar with your Mom and two Aunts listening to them tell stories about how they used to steal each others’ records and how they used to get caught smoking pot by my grandma. We also had many interludes that included the four of us playing air guitar along with Zeppelin II. The margaritas were getting the best of me, so by 10pm I took my last tequila shot and we headed back into the city.

Hawk took us to the Tiki Room so we could check out the space prior to the party. It is an intriguing space and I think you will all have a good time at this party. They were playing Old School which added to my enjoyment. We then went down to Grass Roots Tavern where Chris Howerton was having his birthday party. More shots with the kids along with a Valium slipped to me from Z Money and I was well on my way. Prior to hitting the root we picked up Cami who had just gotten back from her extended stay in California. We slipped out of the Root in order to meet up with Liz who was attending some house party just down the street. That is where things got a bit blurry to me. My apologies for any lewd conduct on my part. Apparently we stopped by Double Happiness for a few drinks, but I don’t believe the kids who told me this. I was lucky Cami was looking out for me, but its best if you just let me go when I get to that point. Maybe I will get hit by a car and finally wise up.

Another Hectic Sunday.

I finally slept in on Sunday! It was glorious. Those who passed out at 186 assembled for a quick brunch at General Store before I had to go up to the Gershwin to meet Mom and the ladies for a Mother’s Day dinner. I was so fucking slick. On top of getting mom a hot stones massage for Mother’s Day (thank you to the ladies who suggested this), I spoke to the concierge and got her to throw a bunch of flowers in their room while they were out at a show. It scored super bonus points with Mom which is important because this weekend was all about her, (and tequila). We stopped by one of those Houston’s steak houses which is in the area. Diner was great, but the best was yet to come.

I headed home to take care of some business before meeting up with Noah, Perry, Builder, Beach and Daylen. We walked down to the Bowery for the Hold Steady / Shins show taking place that evening. Perry pulled his monkey antics the entire walk down there. Fuck it. Perry pulled his monkey antics the past couple of days. I swear that kid does meth. The Hold Steady was solid, but we weren’t there to see those boys. We wanted the Shins. We made our way to the back where we met up with Mohawk, JoMo, Lucy, Ryan, Sean, Mia, Denise and some other kids I was too drunk to remember. There were Culkins going on all over which somewhat tainted the set because you had to constantly watch your back, but all and all the Shins played another fantastic set. They never disappoint. James actually had to borrow Sean Bones guitar for the acoustic stuff. He couldn’t make that guitar sing like Mr. Bones, but he did just fine. The allstar moment goes to Noah because Perry pulled a Culkin on him and Noah promptly stood up and threw a full beer in his face. Another all star moment goes to Builder and me who executed a text book Culkin on DTL. You know it’s about the love DTL. It’s all about the love.

We decided it was best to blow that joint and head to Corner Bistro. It was my first time at this burger haven, and I can say it won’t be my last. We devoured our first burger so Beach thought it would be smart to order another. This is all a bit hazy but half way through the second burger I said fuck it and got up to leave only to be tripped by that ass clown Perry on my way through the doors. This caused me to drop my burger which was a severe disappointment. Luckily I left Perry with most of the bill.

Can I Graduate?

Yes, I just quoted a Third Eye Blind song, but dammit, it’s an appropriate one. Yesterday was Gallatin’s graduation at Lincoln Center’s Avery Fisher Hall. It was a bit of hassle, but I was happy to do it for mom. My boss also went up there and had a killer time with the ladies. I lined up with Noah, Jack and Sean. We had a riot, especially when some kid played a rock song about how unrealistic the program is. Another highlight was Jack’s personal statement in the program which simply read: “Thank You Jesus!”

Walking across the stage had no affect on me. Possibly because I haven’t really graduated. While walking to the Dean after Professor Shulman called my name, I passed Professor Dinwiddie who gave me a pound and said “finally” while my advisor who was sitting right next to me said “we need to talk.” That was quite humorous.

Afterwards we took some pictures and grabbed a couple drinks to celebrate. Then I met a crew of kids that included Sean, Sarah, Mike Bones, Bryan, Ryan, Pooja (is that how I spell it Pooj?), Sarah, Beach, Emma, Perry, Liz, Hawk, Stevo and Max. We hung out in the back of Bowery Bar until the rain forced us under cover. Whiskey and Tequila proved to get the best of me, but I still managed to stay out past 2am and get up for work this morning.

Who knows what tonight has in store for me, but I’m sure it involves drinking. I’m like that kid in the commercial where the friend has to say something about their drug and/or alcohol problem. Who is going to step up and save this poor drunk? Wow, that was depressing!

Cancel Trip To Bagdad.

Holy Shit. Read this, (link from Builder).

Bside Turns One!

You've marveled at its charming concrete floors. You flipped out when they got rid of that Donkey Kong game and replaced it with Pacman. You got nervous when you realized that they changed the Happy Hour drink prices, but quickly figured out it was the same deal. You get consistantly drunk off their Tequila and Bud special. You spend hours drinking whiskey and shooting pool.

If any of those statements hit a little too close to home, then come out to Bside tonight because Sivan and Kelly will be celebrating their first year in business. There will be cake and strippers. Ok, no cake.

Tuesday May 11th 9pm
B-side
204 Ave B
212-475-4600

I'll see you there.

Sneaking It.

As I said below, it has been a hectic past few days so if I forget something, someone or some Culkin, please forgive me. With all the tequila consumed the past few days, everything seems a bit hazy. The shakes are worse than they have ever been, but rest easy because I haven’t puked in nearly 24 hours.

Was It Wednesday Or Thursday.

Is it cliché to say that its all been a blur? If it is, then fuck you and fuck clichés because that’s exactly what it is. After work on Wednesday Builder and I met JoMo and Beacheros at 2A for a couple of drinks. By a couple I mean two beers and three tequila shots since it was Cinco de Mayo. I don’t know what the holiday actually celebrates, but we figured tequila is probably involved. Tequila and Ponies. After getting nice and touched up at that bar (read: tossed) we rolled back home for the season finale of the O.C. Karen and Sivan were already in 186 with Kyle getting set for the big show. I strolled in a few seconds before the kickoff.

I’d like to say that the episode stood out to me, but all I can remember is Seth sailing away at the end. And was it Ryan’s baby? Did they make that clear? I can’t figure this out on my own, so I need your help.

After the show, some kids showed up. The one that stands out is Jeannie because she brought a late birthday present of a bottle of tequila. All the kids who were in house which may have included Stevo and some others finished off the bottle in under an hour. Not a smart move on a Wednesday night, but Stevo and I soaked up some of the booze with a quick run to Subway. My drunken eating fits have been rock solid the past couple days. Just keep reading, you’ll see what I mean.

Shit. I Just Remembered I Have To Graduate Tonight. Can Someone Stand In For Me?

Thursday. Yeah, It Was Thursday.

Let me say the prose in this update may be scattered because I’m writing it between projects at work. Life is a hectic mess right now, but it doesn’t matter because there is always rock to be seen.

Speaking of seeing rock, Dan picked me up from the office on Thursday and we went back to 186 to hang before heading to Bside. I don’t get enough Dan time these days which is a problem that needs to be hashed out. Anyway, we drove up to Bside where we met Mike, his buddy whose name escapes me (Dave/Eric?), and Liz. Sivan was keeping the ice cubes cold and we had a spat over the linear (or lack there of) fashion of the blog.

Around 9pm Dan gave us a lift to BB Kings where the Bouncing Souls were playing. We had to suffer through an Avail set, but it didn’t matter because I was set to pogo to one of my all time favorite pop punk outfits. We ran into Vinny, Nicole and Taylor who were also there for the rock. Once the Avail was done, we waited in anticipation for the Souls. They really take me back, but the problem is that they have 3 or 4 albums that came out after I got through that phase, so they played a lot of tracks I didn’t know. The did play East Coast, Fuck You!, Kate is Great, Argyle and The Ballad of Johnny X. Though the sound wasn’t great, it was fun show that was devoid of the hipster factor, but there were some dickhead Jersey types who kept running into us.

The best part of the evening was during their encore when Jake (who hooked up the show with some help from Chernin, thanks guys) got called to the stage and took the mic for one of the songs. He looked soooo happy bouncing around on stage and having a good time. He is a super nice guy, so no one be mean to Jake.

The night was capped off with a 2A appearance by Beach, Jeannie and I. We met up with Kristen, Ryan, Noah, Lance and some other peps for a few drinks before calling it an evening.

Weekend Recap is on its way. It's a good one, so check back.

To My Loyal Readers.

People, please, I'm slammed at work, have graduation and a mother in town. plus I'm planning a party where you can all come and drink free beer and win records so save the date of Thursday May 20th. I'm doing it for the kids. Trust me, something big is brewing and I hope to get to it today.

Friday + Birthday = Awesomeness.

You all know Sam Champion, but you may not know Noah so tonight is your chance to come meet the man behind the harmonica. We will be celebrating Noah's 22nd Birthday at Bside this evening. He plans to be there by 11:30 and I will probably get there a bit after midnight. Bring girls for Noah to make out with, he will appreciate it.

If you are in the other part of town, the one that starts with a B, than go to the Hook to see Jin spin her first set. All the details can be found here.

Coachella 2004. AKA Culkin 2004. AKA Puke 2004.

So the routine has commenced. I’m back in the office blocking out the fact that nearly 3 days ago I was standing in the dessert seeing some of the best rock bands of our time. Though it’s a major disappointment to be back at work, I was beginning to miss my NYC. I love my NYC, but for now let’s concentrate on our exodus.

Friday’s Travel.

Bolting from the office never felt so good. It was 4pm on Friday when I returned to 186 to meet with Cami, Flynne and Builder. After a quick hair cut by Cami, we hopped in the car and headed to JFK. The ride to the airport was filled with anticipation of terminal drinks and Tylenol PM. We parked in a colossal parking lot and took the AirTram to Terminal 6. Builder and I managed to get seats together, as did the girls. While we were waiting in line to get the pat down, we ran into Jake who was also heading to Ontario. The five of us got a table at the new sports bar in the Jet Blue terminal that replaced the hideous sushi bar.

We were quickly joined by Beach, Perry, Daylen, Mohawk and Lucy who were part of the massive crew assembled for the weekend. For the record, we ran into them while in line for security check. Beach and Perry attempted the weekends first Culkin on me, but Beach was a bit too obvious on his approach. We immediately went to the bar for a tequila shot so we could loosen up for the long flight. After a few drinks and some grub the crew boarded the plane and my nerves kicked in.

I’ve never been great at flying. There is something about a situation where I have no control that really freaks me out. Does that make me a control freak? By definition, maybe, but to be honest, it’s just flying and driving with Kevin Smith that truly freaks me out, (no pun intended, some of you may know what I’m saying). We piled into the booked flight and made friends with Edwin our steward who had the biggest scares on his head. He had to be a reformed criminal. The dude looked tough, but he was all about us drinking, (maybe because we tipped him). Once we hit our “cruising altitude” I was totally buzzed and completely cool.

Halfway through our flight and the NBA playoff games Builder struck up a conversation with the girl in our aisle. She was quite cute, but she was one of those girls who have more money than they know what to do with. She chatted the two of us up for a solid hour before we both slipped back into our digital cable. There was also a chap sitting in front of Beach and Daylen who was trying to fuck his bimbo secretary. They were making out on the flight. Classy. At one point I was using the empty seats arm rest to talk to the kids when he started giving me shit. A quick “fuck off” glance was thrown before ass fuck got his extra arm rest back. If by chance jackass or his wife ever reads this, I hope you crash while speeding your Audi down some freeway while receiving a blow job from your wife’s sister.

Ok, enough of that. We touched down to many cheers and loud ca-cha’s emanating through out the plane. We thanked Edwin and were off to Alamo where we encountered the dumbest employee ever. She even asked the four of us if we were in town for the races. I’ve spent five years trying to shed my redneck skin only to be called out by a woman with the darkest teeth ever. She was also mesmerized by the fact that the Dodge Durango we rented only had 2 miles on it. It’s cool that we got a brand new car, but really, who gives a shit, it’s a car. Upon finding our vehicle, I realized that she was right; the Durango was a stunning example of Dominant American Capitalism. It was a monster and a beaut all at the same time. The white horse provided killer transportation around SoCal.

Our first stop was at the In and Out Burger. Beach had been talking up this establishment, but I wasn’t believing the hype. Once again, I was wrong. The In and Out Burger was all Donny and Walter made it out to be. A delicious burger later, we were back on the road and stuck in what was probably “The Race’s” traffic. It extended our drive by nearly an hour. We eventually lost Beach and the crew who were traveling in front of us, but we made our way to the Holiday Inn express by 3am. We checked in and ran into Berta who was winding down after a big Diesel Party. We were joined by Rob who planned to crash on our floor. I cuddled up with Builder and managed to get a couple hours of sleep.

Saturday’s Shit Show.

You are probably wondering why Friday’s entry was sooooooo long. I just wanted to make sure the extended travel was conveyed. I nearly pulled a 24 hour shift on Friday, but that didn’t matter because Saturday was for the rock. I woke up early by East Coast standards, and headed downstairs to partake in the free continental breakfast. When I returned to the room everyone was stirring and getting ready to eat and go for a swim. Flynne was definitely to pool warrior of the weekend. She managed to spend every morning down by the tiny, but sufficient pool.

Around 11am or so, we headed to Jen and Rebecca’s condo where Whitney and Matt were staying. It took us forever to find the complex because Cami and I weren’t paying attention from the front seat. Apparently I was too busy ruining her clothes with deodorant, (I’m apologizing again for that move). We were met by Whitney who was running down the street toward us. He proceeded to take us inside where we were greeted by a room of lovely LA kids. They hooked us up with some drinks and we commenced chilling. A few Vodka Cran’s and five shotgunned PBR’s later, and we were ready for the festival.

Since it was already 3pm Whitney and Matt decided to travel with the rest of us in the Durango because their ladies weren’t going for awhile. We hit some major traffic so foolery ensued. Whitney and I dashed out of the car and ran up the highway until we decided to duck and cover in a random minivan full of high school girls who were more than happy to see us. I returned to the car only to see Cami and Rob jump out and run down the road to take a leak in some bushes. It was mayhem, so Whitney and I jumped ship again and ran across some huge parking lot. We got a ways down the road before escaping from the 105 degree heat in some white four-door with a couple of randoms from LA. It was great being drunk, but I’m sorry that we pissed the rest of the kids off. They all gave me some serious shit before the Pixies set, which was warranted, but then again, I was tossed. Matt ran by the car when we made the turn into the parking lot. At that point we bailed from the vehicle and made our way into the polo grounds.

Whit and I got beer bracelets and headed to the Outdoor stage to check out some of Trail of Dead’s set. I didn’t realize this band plays Detroit style, (two drummers). They were tough, but not as loud and crazy as I expected them to be. There were even some melodies in there! It was a solid set, though Beach claimed they were pretty sloppy to which I say, it’s only rock and roll. After a few songs we headed to the Mojave tent where Juinor/Senior was playing. I ran into Sascha from Flavorpill who was on his way to see the Beck set at the adjacent tent. When the Danish duo (plus Flip, the drummer and the back up singers) took the stage, the crowd began to move. Their set was outstanding, and by the time Senior loosened up a bit, everyone in my near vicinity was drenched in sweat. Their crowning moment was when they played Chicks and Dicks which almost prompted a make out session between the Whit and I. They are top notch so make sure you check them out next time they come your way.

We took off early in hopes of catching a bit of the Beck set, but as predicted, he was playing a snooze set of acoustic jams from Sea Change. Sorry Beck, but that’s BORING. You know the kids are in the desert to party and dance, so why not give them what they want? Why can’t you dish out the hits? Is this what we should expect in the future? Whit and I tried to catch the last couple songs from the Danes, but we were so drunk that we had to keep it rolling. We headed to the beer tent to do some drinking, but after slugging down a couple beers, the heat began to take its tool. At this point things got blurry for a little while, we managed to find Matt and make it to the Black Keys set in the Mojave tent. They were fucking unreal. Definitely one of the top acts I saw even though I had no desire to check them out. They ripped through a set of killer garage drenched blues rock. Their drummer was placed nearly five feet in the air, and he was wailing away while his other half was shredding our ears off.

After their set I ran into Paul “I Love Cock” Bothe who was grabbing some grub with his ladyfriend. He immediately shoved a one hitter in my face and we began to puff away in the middle of the food area. My one regret of Coachella is not spending enough time with Bothe, but the shere size of the event along with the shitty cell phone service and the number of monkeys we had to deal with made it very difficult. It was fucking excellent seeing him though, and I hope he is making his way out to the right coast soon.

By this time I was wondering around the venue by my self. Drunk and tired, I managed to find Builder, Cami, Rob and Flynne who were chilling in the beer garden waiting for the Pixies set. Unfortunately we had to sit there and listen to Sparta or Thursday or some shitty band, but that didn’t matter because Frank and Kim were on their way.

The Pixies set is all it’s cracked up to be. If you have any sense, you will buy a ticket to their show at Randell’s Island this Summer. We watched them play through hits like U-Mass, Debaser, Here Comes Your Man, Monkey’s Gone to Heaven, Gigantic, Veloria and Where is My Mind. The set was ridiculous. Ever jam was played and every song was a hit. Kim laid it the fuck down on bass while Frank let out screams and song. Once they were done, I was ready to come back home.

That is until I heard Sister Savior blasting from the Outdoor stage. That’s right kids, I left The Pixies set, only too accidentally (I say that because I was so drunk that it was definitely not on purpose) walk upon The Rapture’s set. Their Coachella set may have been the best I’ve ever seen from these guys. Tracks like Heaven, House of Jealous Lovers and I Need Your Love were loaded with head bobbing keys and melt your face sax sections.

I wandered back into the beer tent because Radiohead was about to play, and I thought that the kids would still be there. They had left, but I found the LA kids along with Whitney. After suffering through five or six songs, Whitney, Jen and I decided to bolt which means that I missed Kraftwerk and any make out sessions played for the Phantom Planet set. Upon sobering up I realized how dumb my early exit was, but we did go to Jack In The Box which was bitching. I passed out at the hotel by myself, but eventually the kids trickled in. Poor Flynne and Cami. The girls got stuck with the car because the boys ran off. The worse part is that they had to sit in traffic for three hours after the show. Sorry ladies.

Sunday’s Logistics.

The kids at the Holiday Inn woke up early once again and the boys split from the girls in order to eat the delicious brunch. Cami and Flynne stayed behind because they didn’t want to go early for !!!. Once we got to the buffet brunch thing at Beach’s hotel, it was on. I must have consumed a pound of bacon. The buffet even had a juicer, a dude to make you omelets and waffles, and it even had Krispe Kreme Dounuts. Needless to say I had to walk around with a boner the whole time. Ok, disgusting, but true.

After breakfast we headed up to their hotel room. On the way I began to feel a bit ill. At this point Perry and Beach decided to execute a perfect Culkin on me. The only problem was that this move secured the fact that I would lose everything I just ate. We hustled into their room and I preceded to yuke my guts out. Once everyone finished their business (filling suntan lotion bottles with tequila) we took off for the festival. While waiting for the elevator, we succeeded in taking down Builder. He flew threw the air like an acrobat. That kid went down a lot this weekend.

We made it inside with some time to kill before the !!! set so Tumbleweed, Lucy and I walked around and I helped them out with the beer bracelets. It was extremely easy to smuggle them bracelets which gives me confidence in saying that some of the girls I was starring at in the beer tent were 16!

We made it back to the Outdoor Stage where everyone was assembling for the !!! set. We even ran into Matt who was getting psyched for the set. While we were waiting, I managed to Solo Culkin Tumbleweed after two other people botched an attempt on him. We noticed the band taking the stage so we decided to slide a bit closer for a good look at the band whose members reside in New York and Los Angeles. They turned in a set that may have been the highlight of my day. The lead singer had total control of the crowd which he used to get us moving, clapping and throwing our hands up in 108 degree happiness. They played some tracks from the upcoming record as well as some classic dance tracks. Their front man has the look. That guy can dance. He pulls out all the stops. My neck was killing me afterwards because I couldn’t stop banging. Perry also seemed to be pleased because he was dripping with sweat. Make sure you get tickets to their June show at the Bowery.

We did a quick water run before returning to the same spot for Broken Social Scene. We waited for 20 minutes before BSS took the stage and we lit some joints. If !!! was my highlight, than Broken Social Scene raced them to a photo finish. The collective of Canadian musicians played great tracks such as KC Accidental and Athem’s for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl. The latter was performed with Emily Haines from Metric who free styled a bit on the chorus as well as the band who did a bit of their own improve for the track. They were also joined on stage by Dave Hamelin from The Stills, but instead of playing the drums he found his way behind the keyboard. Before their last song, one of the guitar players took to the microphone and asked his long time lady friend to marry him. She accepted and they had a nice long embrace. It made me feel good inside. This also prompts me to ask, does anyone want to get married? I'm partial to ladies, but hell, stranger things have happened.

Perry, Builder, Rob and I headed to the main stage to join the rest of the gang who were busy seeing Muse. This is a band I can’t seem to get into. I’ve tried, and some of their stuff is pretty good, but it reminds me of Thom Dork and the boys a little too much. We stuck around for a few songs before heading to the tent where The Killers were playing. This is another band I’ve been trying to get into, but their set at Coachella was downright bad. And their song about indie rock just makes me want to punch myself. It’s so goddamn cheesy. They did play Mr. Brightside which has the hook that makes me happy. They also brought out a choir to back them up on their last song, but it wasn’t as special as it could have been because they weren’t mic’d very well.

We met up with the girls after they caught the Thrills set. We packed it in and headed to the Main Stage for Belle and Sebastian who, from what I’m told, played a new set. It seemed perfect for that point of the day. I was lying in the grass starring at a clear sky while listening to pretty pop songs. During their set I took off early to see Cooper Temple Clause by myself. I ran into Daylen and Stewart over there, but I couldn’t dig the music so I quickly exited. After that I met some kids for a couple of quick beers. I also ran into Mandell who tried to Culkin Gene right off. Adam is now in the game!

By 7pm the day was wearing on me, but I decided to join the crew who was taking in the Dizzy Rascal set. I couldn’t understand a word that kat said, but he had some flow. The tent was hot and smelly so I retired to the outside for a hamburger that would later plague me. Never eat festival food. It will kill you. I ran into Gabby and Ian who were chilling during the Bright Eyes set so I gave him a shot. Fuck Conner. That’s all I have to say. Gene and Perry were hanging out in the crowd so we chilled until I went to meet Builder, Rob, Cami and Flynne for the Sleepy Jackson set. We never actually went in that tent. I was too busy sitting in pain. Fucking burgers.

We made our way to the meeting spot for The Flaming Lips show. Though they only played five songs, their set was full of eye candy. As I’m sure you already know, Wayne climbed into a giant bubble and walked out onto the crowd because he wanted to arrive in Coachella in a spaceship. The furrys were in full effect as well as some giant green balloons. Wayne was swinging around some purple light in hopes that all onlookers were on mushrooms. Wayne did a lot of half assed political preaching. He walked a fine line and was protecting himself from appearing anti anything but Bush. For their last song he asked the crowd to sing Beck’s unborn child happy birthday while he poured blood on his head. Genius.

Then the wait was on for Robert Smith and the Cure. Though most onlookers were disappointed by the poor sound quality (the mix was low), I was pleasantly surprised by their set. Just check out my top five. Enough said. We left a bit early to beat traffic, but realized that we missed nearly an extra hour of Cure tunes. That’s the biggest boner of the weekend.

Sunday’s Dessert Sessions.

We woke up on Sunday, cleaned up and checked out of the hotel before meeting up with the other crew for breakfast at The Nest. It was such a shitty restaurant, but it did the trick. Adrian showed up to pick Cami up. He had a killer Cure shirt on, and was in good spirits. After our meal they headed wherever the hell he lives in SoCal while the rest of us headed to Joshua Tree. If you have never seen the dessert before, do yourself a favor and check out this national park. It was amazing. It was strange. It was everything I wanted my final day in California to be. We drove around for awhile and then stopped to do some exploring and drinking. I was still sick so there were no beers for me, but Perry picked up my slack.

We stopped along side the road after our first session so Tumbleweed could run up to Beach’s car to get his mixtape. At this point, Perry and Beach were on the prowl for a Culkin. Perry hopped out of the Durango and proceeded to take position, but it was to no avail. Builder slid out of the car and became the kneeler. The other boys pushed Mohawk and he went down in the dessert. We made another stop at a rock formation where Flynne and Builder claimed to have seen a Jack Conejo, but that didn’t matter because I was looking for the Kangaroo Rat, but I never saw one.

We made a dinner stop at the Sizzler where everyone proceeded to get grossed out by their various entrées. Perry also set it up where the four different employees came out to sing me happy birthday. It was embarrassing, but worth it because I got a balloon that I sucked the helium out of and sang Franz Ferdinand songs. Perry is amazing.

The flight home was spent sleeping because of the Tylenol PM and White Wine.

All I want to say is that we did good kids. Each one of us. Be proud of yourselves. We only have a year left to train for the next Coachella.

Pheobe’s Top Five Coachella Moments:

1. Finding shade under a trash can.
2. Finding my car in a big fucking dusty pitch dark field.
3. Hoping no one noticed my weeping during The Pixies set (I was THAT girl, and it was EMBARASSING).
4. Watching The Pixies fuck up lyrics to U-Mass,
Gigantic, and Where is My Mind? (but still sounding awesomical).
5. Pixies, Pixies, and Pixies.

Builder’s Top Five Coachella Moments:

1. Broken Social Scene’s Anthem’s for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl.
2. Kraftwerk’s set.
3. Spooning with Jay at the Holiday Inn Express.
4. Mohawk’s Joshua Tree Culkin.
5. Being awarded the Purple Heart for getting knocked on my ass so many times.

Beach’s Top Five Coachella Bands & Culkins:

1. Radiohead
2. The Pixies
3. Muse
4. Mogwai
5. !!!

1. Tumbleweed Desert Culkin
2. Builders Purple Heart signifying the large amount of Culkins he received over 3 days.
3. The Belin puke inducing Culkin.
4. Finally getting Perry (twice!).
5. Finally getting my buddy Gene as well.

Mr. Sweet’s Top Five Coachella Moments:

1. Slow dancing and frenching during The Cure set, pretending its 1985, I'm 13, in a packed middle school gym, and I'm wearing make up.
2. The Pixies.
3. Not being at work but rather drinking beer in the back of a rented Dodge Durango on your way to see Junior Senior.
4. Rapid hand dances performed to Modest Mouse in the back of some stranger's packed mini van.
5. Spending time with my boyfriend, Jay Belin.

Camadonna’s Top Five (???) Coachella Moments:

1. The Pixies
2. The Pixies
3. The Pixies
4. The Pixies
5. The Durango

Mandell’s Top Five Coachella Moments:

1. Having Mischa Barton almost literally walk into me.
2. The amazing back to back to back spectacle of Pixies/Radiohead/Kraftwerk.
3. Dancing and drinks at the Spin after party.
4. Dude from Broken Social Scene proposing to his girlfriend onstage.
5. The helpful text messages from "What's up, Coachella."

Warrior Perry’s Top Five Coachella Moments:

1) Beach jumping like a little school girl for two hours during Pixies-Radiohead.
2) The first Culkin into puke that I have witnessed by Jay.
3) My own first Culkin which was quite an aerail display orcastrated by an all-Beach team.
4) Taking down Gene Smith after he was 0 for 4 in Culkin take down attempts.
5) The Sizzler buffet.

Purely Musical

1) Radiohead's whole set.
2) Pixies' whole set.
3) !!!'s dance moves.
4) Broken Social Scene' last song.
5) Junior Senior's Move Your Feet/Push It.

Jay Good Times’ Top Five Coachella Moments:

1. Bento Bands and the solid crew who made the journey.
2. The Pixies, Debaser
3. !!!’s lead singer’s dance moves.
4. Almost crying when The Cure played Pictures of You.
5. Jumping into a random minivan with Whit only to find three high school girls who were very happy to see us.

Attention Hot Chicks.

If you are not busy at 6pm this evening and you are a hot girl, you should head to the Northsix to star in the !!! (Chk Chk Chk or Pow Pow Pow) video. They are in need of women, beautiful women. Go there and dance.

I Promise The Update Will Be Posted By E.O.D.

Full Coachella Update Coming Soon.