IN: Pick-up lines in the am
OUT: Mass transit missed connections

This morning I was running late for work, so I called a car service to get me there quickly. I was eating a banana. After taking the last bite, I neatly folded the banana peel in my hand so as not to make a mess, then stared out the window. At a traffic light, I was startled to feel the driver's hand gingerly plucking the banana peel out of mine. I thanked him and continued staring out the window.

We finally arrived at my office, just on time. As I was looking for my wallet, the driver turned around and asked me when I get off of work. I told him it varies from day to day, and he smiled and said he finishes at 7pm. I smiled back politely. Then he told me that he will give me a free ride home, anytime I want. I didn't know what to make of this, so I said that's sweet but I couldn't do that, since this is his livelihood. He said it's no problem, because he likes ladies. I avoided the proposition as cleanly as possible, then paid him for the current ride, as it was already on record with the dispatcher.

So ladies, give me a shout if you want free rides after 7pm. I mean, as long as the sex with a middle-aged stranger thing doesn't disturb you.