How Many Licks Does It Take...
Last night my view on reality got an unwelcome shot in the arm. Think about it like a dead leg that some dickbag, offensive lineman gave you in the cafeteria back in those wonderful years called high school. You're just sitting there, minding your own business, eating your lunch of French fries and ranch dressing when all of a sudden some 260 gorilla comes up to you pushes out the table, slams the top of your thigh and walks away laughing while you roll on the floor in anguish. Then once you've composed yourself enough to join the rest of the world back at eye level, you climb to your chair only to have some shitstick from the wrestling team shove a bunch of Cheetos in your cigarette pocket and pat your chest until they are nearly powder. Did I mention they take your lunch as well? Those were the days. Funny thing is, I can't remember those assholes names, but I'm sure they are somewhere in central PA with a couple kids, a large car payment and a solid job at the mill. Shine on you functioning alcoholics.That longwinded explanation of a painful event can only half sum up my thoughts regarding last night's spit take. There was a massive fuss about four songs into Elefant's set. I couldn't tell what was going on, but our head of security brought another beefed up dude inside, patted him down and ran him upstairs. A few moments later they ran back outside. It was only moments later that five security guards rushed in Lindsay Lohan and her four (very young and emaciated) person entourage. I've never seen the waters part so quickly. Think about like this:
Number of body guards for David Byrne :: 0
Number of body guards for Mike Myers :: 0
Number of body guards for David Bowie :: 0
Number of body guards for Lindsay Lohan :: 5
I don't know the logistics, but I think she used to dine at Diego's string bean factory. Someone told me that, but I refused to listen. More importantly, Sound Team opened last night's show. If you missed them, be sure to stop by Annex tonight for their 10:30pm set. Recommended if you like melodic, danceable rock much akin to a blended mix of The Walkmen and The National, but with vocals that are so gritty that you'll be picking gravel out of your palms post gig.
5 Comments:
aberdeen city and sound team ruled it last night.
I saw one shit-tastic elefant song and left, but not before fondling jay's ass. It's so firm, yet pliable. like a stress-ball.
when you say "dine at Diego's string bean factory" do you mean they hooked up? or did he really have a restaurant of sorts?
actually, for most of you who don't know (and i know because I married diego's hot sister in 2002, but it was fleeting), their family is founded on string bean factories. in fact, they are the largest providers of string beans to north america and for all of you show think diego isn't socially responsible with all the fur and hair care products he uses, think about this, since 1996, the garcia's have donated 18 million tons of string beans to third world countries. The family is idolized by indigenous tribes across the globe. put that in your bowl and smoke it. seriously. smoke more pot.
the darn used to have a sweet desktop shot of ms lohan's nip slip...
the only reason you east coaster's get pushed around by security is because you cockfagz don't know what to do when they're in your face.
Shit, I've JO'd outside of Ashley Simpson's parking garage half a dozen times with no BBM's in sight. (Probably bacuse any BBM's in my neighborhood would be immediately arrested if they weren't wearing a LAPD uniform.)
-duG
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