Ok, so I’m not exactly serious with that line, but if you have an amazing offer or you are a pretty lady who would like me to move in with you to split the rent; then drop me a line so we can work this out. Seriously, I cook. I clean. I’m terrific at cuddling. Don’t you need a nice big body pillow to get you through the winter months? I’m on the verge of taking offers from dudes.
Last night I hustled home to whip up some delicious dinner before trudging through the snow to the Bowery. Dave and I once again gave the 2nd door a collective bitch slap as we braved the cold for all you Ray Lamontagne fans. Last night was nearly 10 degrees warmer than Tuesday which made me feel like I was on a tropical island. Ok, so my toes still froze, but we were lucky enough to have two coffee deliveries tonight. Thanks to Noah and Beach who hooked us up on back to back evenings. Anyway, everyone at RCA was great so the night ran smoothly. Once we shut down, Merida hooked me up with my post shift whiskey and I said hello to Bango and Noah who were hugging the bar. On my way upstairs I noticed that Dan stepped up to merch table for the second evening in a row, but he honestly has to stop using the reading of this blog as a reason for self deprecation. You love it.
As I settled into the back corner with the likes of Tumblehawk, Lucy, Daylen, Beach, Gigs, Sarah, Kara and Lumberyard, there was a bit of drama going down. Some kids were rocking the no class rule and thought it would be awesome to be dicks. It’s quite unfortunate when a couple of people have too much to drink and decide it’s funny to be assholes. Granted I’ve been on the other end of this stick, (too many times to count), but seeing it sober just made me pissed. The problem wasn’t exactly them disrupting the crowd, but they were heckling the artist which isn’t the coolest chapter in the handbook, (unless it’s Sam Champion). Thankfully everything was handled professionally, and the onlookers were able to enjoy the rest of the show sans incident. Ray is a singer songwriter who doesn’t push my buttons, but was able to captivate the room minus said dicktards.
Around 11pm we saddled up to leave the club. After James stole my bag one more time, we cruised to catch a quick cab ride so we wouldn’t miss the Hold Steady’s set at the Mercury Lounge. We cruised in to find DTL manning the fort. As I sipped the first of a few vodka tonics, a wave of drunkenness came over me. Sure, I’d only had 3 or 4 drinks, but shit, I was plowed. As the five boys who make up the Brooklyn via Twin City band, it was decided that Jay would be home well before the set ended. They began their set with some new jams which had me feeling confident about my recent, “I’m over them,” comment, but by the time they rocked out Hostile, MA I was eating my own words. The one thing that bothered me was the crowd’s excitement over Craig Finn’s negative Yankee comments that introduced the track. What the fuck is wrong with you New York? Have you no soul? Must you cheer when someone gives props to the Red Sox? At any event, they also threw down Knuckles before I left the club which was superb. Their big riffs and high energy sets are the good stuff kids go for. Unfortunately I bailed before hearing Killer Parties and Most People are DJs, but the reports that came in are all leaning towards rock.
Tonight there are a few beeps on the radar, so get set for some solid rock, but first a couple cancellations. The first comes from The Giraffes camp who canceled their second show in a row, but with good reason. This email landed today:
On Monday January 3rd I had two episodes of "Sudden Cardiac Death" (thats a heart attack kids) while sitting in the rental car on my way to drop off my girl (Maggie) at work and the car back at the rental place. What did it feel like you ask? Remember that first hit of a cigarette, whoosey and sick? Multiply by ten thousand, i blacked out behind the wheel on that street that leads to First Ave. off of the Manhattan Br. right behind a cop. Now thanks to my girl getting attention and explaining what was happening (namely that i was not wigging out on dust) the cop put up with me unconsciously fighting him, screaming at the top of my lungs (none of which i remember) and did CPR on me when i finally stopped fighting, and called an eps team from the fire house around the corner (lucky fucking bastard that i am) who zapped me with big voltage to get the heart working again. At this point i was sitting shirtless in an ambulance on my way to Beth Israel, talking shit with two big welts on my chest (don't remember any of this either). Got to the hospital, had another Sudden Cardiac Death moment and got shocked back to the living again, fighting like hell with the hospital staff wherever I went ( don't remember none of it) winding up in 4 point restraints in the cardiac ward of the hospital, and stayed there under sedation for the next day.
Woke up on Wednesday? Maybe Tuesday? Whatever, had the tubes in my dick and throat, little suction cups glued all over me an apparent heart efficiency of 15% (normal is 60%) and slowly.... slowly came back. i don't really remember most of this. as far as my brain is concerned i went out in the car and woke up a day or so later in the hospital, no near death shit, didn't give my regards to Rodney Dangerfield, or any other dead folk , nothing. Nap time, blank so don't ask me about that stuff... woke up with lots of friends, lots of family from around the country in the room staring at me like i just ate a kid or something....
OK so the doctors put me through the battery of tests catheters up my groin veins, into my heart, MRI's (which to me were quite relaxing) EEG's etc. after a day or so my heart efficiency was about 65% (better than average), and after a week in the cardiac care unit at Beth Israel Hospital, with awesome nurses, doctors, family and friends I was let go, to a extremely clean apartment, a new sofa, and an x-box (don't get much better than that)
The doctors tell me as soon as the scars heal I will be 100% again, which is good 'cause I am bored sitting at home all day. So I am no longer smoking. I am taking it easy and will be getting back ASAP, because I got some big ass medical bills to pay off.
Immune to heart attacks,
Aaron Lazar
The Giraffes
In less dramatic cancelationg news... According to Manic Mess, Diamond Nights’ lead singer has fallen ill and must rest his vocal chords for their opening slot with The Fever this Saturday at the Bowery Ballroom. Diamond Nights will not be appearing this evening at Delancey
This evening the boys of RANA will kick off a three week residency at Tribeca Rock Club. Tonight’s opener is Hell Is For Children featuring Scott Metzger (RANA-guitar), Joe Russo (Duo-drums), Claude Coleman Jr. (Ween-drums), and Dave Dreiwitz (Ween-bass).
Don't forget about Atomique. This week Audrey is splitting her time on the decks with the Husky Gentleman. Make sure not to blow your wad tonight because next week I'll be kicking the shit out of you. Clear your calendars.
And Finally, Ms. Sivan Harlap sent me this message:
Get wasted on inauguration day (which is really what you want to do) with the friends you love and not feel bad about it. The other option is me sitting all alone at B-side and you being sober and Jonesing to shop.
Our movie tomorrow is: Napoleon Dynamite
Followed, of course, by: The OC
Happy Hour 3-8pm
Half off Beer and Well...
$1.50 Bud and Rheingold
$2.00 Amstel, Brooklyn, Woodpecker, Lowenbrau
$2.00 Well Drinks
$2.50 Stella, Heineken, Corona, Red Stripe
$5.00 Bloody Marys and Margaritas!!
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