Right now… At this very instant… Fuck Everything! I want to dive into a tyrannical tirade about how NYC is fucking with me, but your lives will be spared. Instead, I’m going to tell you this; I missed the debate. Yes, me. Little ole me. I missed one of the most important political discussions in our race to reclaim the White House. Are there any assholes out there who want to get self-righteous on me? If so, see the comments section below. Since I’m taking a half day, the debate will be downloaded and viewed by me around 3pm today. My co-worker did tell me that Kerry did well, and he has big thumbs. To follow up, she just said they are also pointy, but she will make her decision based on the candidate with the best thumbs.
On to more, “I’ve got a snake in me trousers,” news. Tonight my good buddies, The Bahamas, are playing a set at the Luna Lounge. Who the fuck is The Bahamas? Well, I’m glad you asked. Over five years ago, I rolled up to NYC not knowing a soul. After a few weeks of hanging out with a hippy chick, I realized this wasn’t going to cut it in the social department. The hippy chick scored a couple of Yankees tickets, but like most hippy chicks, she wasn’t interested so she offered them to me. Who the fuck could I ask? I’d been living in the city for two weeks and only knew one person. The hippy chick decided to set me up on a blind date with a kid in her art class. Karl and I became instant friends as we rode up to the stadium, smoked cigarettes and left early to get drunk. Later that evening he introduced me to his roommate, Dan Rosato. Dan was the fucking man. Dan and Karl were louder than me, funnier than me and just an all around nice chaps. We’ve been pals ever since. Dan is a quarter of the awesome that makes up The Bahamas.
My life back at the dorm was a boring one. My roommate was a herb, my best hippy chick friend had a boyfriend and I didn’t have the capacity to role with the NYC kids who lived down the hall. In stepped Louis Miller. Mr. Miller and I often sat at opposite ends of the Weinstein stoop oblivious to the others existence. He would wear his red Minor Threat t-shirt and smoke cigarettes like it was his job while I pretended to read while looking at girls. It was only natural that we would meet one night through our mutual California girlfriends Megan and Joy. They were making way to the most horrid of freshmen hangouts, Bleeker Street, while I planned to pack to drink a forty by myself while abusing our Ethernet connection in search of free porn. If I remember correctly Louis and I had been sitting closer this evening watching the parade of delusion (props to Mr. Cross) that was an NYU freshman dorm on a Thursday night. As the girls rolled out of Weinstein they stopped, introduced us and went on their marry way. Louis and I promptly got stoned and played video games. College was fucking sweet. Louis is a quarter of the awesome that makes up The Bahamas.
Later that year I was in stuck in a vicious routine of getting done with class, meeting Dan at Ando and Dilly’s place in Hayden, smoking our brains out and hitting the cafeteria in search of a decent meal. If you are wondering, NYU’s food still makes me want to puke, and though it doesn’t take much to make me puke, I want you to believe this. Anyway, one evening our vigorous Bond schedule was interrupted by some kid who went to high school with Dan. This kid is Kevin Smith. Mr. Smith had a serious passion for anything involving competition. This might be why we spent so many nights smoking, drinking whiskey and playing Risk. Yeah, I’m a fucking dork, but those were some of the best nights of my life. Kevin is a quarter of the awesome that makes up The Bahamas.
Fast forward a couple years and various costume changes. If you were in our crew or knew anything about it, we spent a lot of time at a bar on St. Marks Place called Grass Root. They treated us like royalty over there and even though we had many jackass tendencies and friends, they never gave us much trouble. The straw that broke the camels back came in the form of a broken ankle, but we’ll save that for later. Anyway, one evening we were getting rowdy at the Root, probably after a Kick show at the Continental, and Dan introduced me to another high school friend, Nick Albano (sorry if I misspelled your last name) aka Professor Nicky Beats. Nick had a stern demeanor to him, but our love for various things (family, Yankees, making out with college girls) served as common ground for a solid friendship. One thing I’ll never forget about Beats; never let him eat roast beef on a long car ride. I learned this the hard way. Nicky Beats is a quarter of the awesome that makes up The Bahamas.
Fast forward to the present. The Bahamas have been playing for nearly three years. A couple years ago I attempted to act as their wet behind the ears manager. What did I know about the music business? About as much as I know now, meaning nothing. I did believe in the music and the kids who were making it. My love for this band stems not only from the tunes they’ve created and my bonds with the boys, but also because we were all in it together. A growing process is a whole lot easier when it’s shared between five friends. We made more mistakes than successes, but looking back on it, there isn’t much I would want to change. As a whole, those four kids and the moments we shared are 100% of the awesome that makes up The Bahamas.
This time wasting activity was not done in vain. Tonight The Bahamas are going to bring the rock. At their first show in over a year, they graced us with a new sound. Something more developed. A sound that wasn’t rushed. A sound that was crafted over late nights and ashtrays full of butts. Tonight we once again get the chance to hear the fruits of our friends’ labors. I can’t fucking wait.
And don’t forget to make out with the bald kid I’ll have with me. His name is Trevor and he needs your love. Check out the details:
The Bahamas
@ The Luna Lounge
(Ludlow btwn Houston & Stanton)
FREE / 21+ / 10:30pm
4 Comments:
i....just.....can't......stop.......crying.........
that is the most lovely thing i've ever read. sincerety is integrity is greatness. i too am crying....sorry dude, i just had to comment. i hope the show goes well. scat
wait a minuite does this mean all these dudes are gay? are they like "friend o' friends", cause it seems that way.
yes. we fuck each other. all the time. in bed they are known as the bahomos.
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