Then this kid gave up. Today at 10am Trevor is taking off from Dubois (pronounced Do Boys) on his way back to the army. Last night he went over to my mom’s house to hang out and use the computer and she said he was heartbroken. Once I get his address I’m going to post it here and all of you should send him a note, a cookie, a porno magazine or something to help his days pass by. He told me about a few of his friend’s experiences. They told Trevor that the first few weeks of processing and training fly right by, but once you get shipped to the dessert, time slows almost to a halt and they are forced to count the days. One of his pals likened it to scenes in Platoon where the soldiers desperately awaited their final day, (though the friend did realize this war is nothing like the one in Vietnam). I’m going to need your help inundating the kid with mail so he has something to look forward to. A positive attitude will keep him sharp and hopefully out of harms way. Good luck Corporal Sheaffer. Keep your head down and your spirits high.
Has the Arcade Fire bandwagon passed? Sure, some people have been hyping them for months, and I know Canada has been singing their praises the past year. Pitchfork did give Funeral, their debut record on Merge, a 9.7 on a scale of 10. Additionally, they played the biggest (in terms of hype) show at this years CMJ festival when they graced the stage at the Mercury Lounge. This prompted a massive ticket buy which sold out their Bowery Ballroom, November show with Dirty on Purpose and the Hidden Cameras. It seems as though the wagon pulled into station, dropped off the accruements necessary for stardom and left the public to make an informed decision.
Well, it was enough for me. I’ve since bought the album and realized the supreme beauty of their song craft. Is it good because it’s different? Are we pissing our pants in ecstasy because it isn’t fueled by four on the floor or darker than night vocals? Is the public gravitating toward this band because we see a bunch of kids creating delicate sounds on the brink of falling apart? Or is it simply the inner band geek in all of us who loves flutes, harps, recorders, cellos, xylophones and any other instrument you can think of including a 12 string guitar. They name check all the necessary visionaries, and yet its nearly impossible to pin them down like the overused Interpol/Joy Division or The Killers/Duran Duran comparisons.
So here I am, the last of the bloggers, commanding you to go and spend $15 on the Arcade Fire album. It’s better than three vodka tonics at your favorite bar. Come on now… there’s nothing to it!
Monday evenings are completely unproductive. Yesterday, with the help of Apple Boy extraordinaire, I was able to install a wireless card into my Powerbook which means I can finally surf for internet porn in the comfort of my own bed. We also had another Loose Record meeting. If you haven’t taken the time to sign up for Loose Updates, do yourself and me a favor by checking out the website and submitting your email information. We promise not to sell your addresses to any porno or prescription companies, unless you want me to.
Speaking of which, a family member of mine recently tried out one of those emails for Vicodin. I’m sure at one point or another one of your inboxes has been flooded with spam from companies offering cheap prescription drugs just by filling out a form. Well, they actually work and the drugs were even sent from New Jersey. I’m not one to dabble too heavy in the world of pills, (well, not enough to order them over the internet) but any of you kids looking to get your fix, believe the hype and get your drugs online!
Anyway, my evening wound down with a couple big phone conversations, some Nyquil and a bit of the football game. My tired ass should have stopped by Atomique at Eleven to make sure Dennis was representing in Melody’s absence or I should have been in attendance for the Brian Jonestown Massacre at Mercury, but my head wasn’t in the right place for a party. Instead I pulled a Monday Night Belin. It could be a new trend. Since Sunday has been deemed the new Friday by a friend of mine, then Monday is the new Sunday. Do you follow?
Can I Borrow A Feeling? Please close this window if you don’t want to hear me bitch. After reading some other blogs and a conversation with a long standing girlfriend (read: girl-space-friend), I feel the need to get a bit emo. There was some hesitation in this necessity, and even as my fingers peck away, I’m figuring this portion of the post will get erased before it sees the light of day. It feels like a practice in futility, but I’m continuing anyway.
It’s been a long time since I’ve committed to anything. Seriously. Girlfriends? Yeah, right. There have been girls throughout the years, and I’m by no means a lonely guy. A relationship or two has crept into my life, but nothing with any sort of longevity. Granted this isn’t entirely my fault, but I’ve been known to bail from a situation way to early. This has caused me to screw up potential relationships with fantastic girls without even giving the notion of “us” a chance. Lately I’ve been trying to come to grips with why this happens on a regular basis. Jay likes girl. Jay somehow finds a way to trick girl into liking him. Relationship buds. Jay bails. This has been going on for nearly three years now. Is there some idealistic situation I can’t seem to create within the framework of reality? Am I afraid of commitment? Am I too picky? Am I incapable of feeling emotion? Am I incredibly selfish? It’s frightening to think all the answers to these questions may simply be yes.
Way back in 2000 I entered into a meaningful relationship with a lovely girl named Christine. Some of you may know her, and know that we were really different people, but for some reason it worked. We fell for each other rather quickly and in less than a year’s time we living together. It didn’t seem too crazy at the time, but in retrospect this living situation may have damned the possibility of another meaningful relationship. After the first few months, which were all butter, my neuroses caught up with me and pushed me to focus on the negative aspects of our relationship. After a month of suppression Christine, as naïve as she wanted to remain, questioned my attitude which caused an eruption leading to the end of our relationship. This isn’t me blaming her for anything. In fact, the demise of our relationship is solely my fault. I had a girl who was a real giver, the type of girl who would do anything for you, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to open up to her. My fucking trust issues are starting to catch up with me.
Has this personal diatribe sorted me out? Not bloody likely. The fact remains that after three years of having the complete inability to stabile one relationship in my life, I’ve determined that I no longer hold the ability to court a young lady. If only we could go back to the days of note writing. Those days were so simple. So cut and dry. There weren’t any games. There wasn’t the thrill of the case. There weren’t days between phone calls. There wasn’t the fear of looking needy. There wasn’t any bullshit.
Do you like me? Circle YES or NO.
9 Comments:
It seems as though lots of people these days are single and confused - don't go stressing out that it's just you. And if it's really that tolling on you, ask your non-single friends their secret to long term relationships. the beaches sound successful.
Also, maybe if you didn't keep "pulling a belin" you would be able to meet the girl of your dreams and live happily ever after!
I circle YES. Come on, Belin, you're better than this. You don't need girls.
Alec
Well, anon, i can promise you I'll be alone forever because the Belin will never die!
and oveis, i miss that soft touch of yours. are we going to see you more after election day? I'm in deperate need of assurance that we are going to win this election.
you've come to the wrong conclusion. remember that luck with the ladies follows a boom-bust cycle. one minuite you're don juan the next you're art garfunkle and then don juan again. you'll have your time in the sun soon enough. i don't know what to say about your commitment phobia. you'll have to ditch that shit cause word will spread and pretty soon all the girls you know will start to think you're an asshole. beware the asshole reputation. nothing will set you back with girls as effectivly. if that catches up to you, well, move to another town. scat
if this is the case scat, i'm booking a flight to austin. actually, i don't necessarily think its a fear of commitment, its more of a fear of commitment to the right girl.
ahh dude, don't kid yourself. you'll keep on believing that until you've lost that girl who would have been the right one. plus the "right one" doesn't have to be the right one for the long run. you're too young to be looking for someone like that. just try to find someone you can hang with. on the other hand, austin is pretty sweet this time of year...scat
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