Next time you find yourself cruising down Interstate 80 on your way to Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Chicago or even further West, consider making a stop in Clearfield, Pennsylvania because we Clearfieldian's have massive pride for our city... I mean town... I mean village. You may be asking how could you have pride for an economically depressed part of the country that houses more Nascar fans than registered voters? Is it the Wal-Mart Super Center? No! Is it the bevy of fast food choices (i.e. Taco Bell, 2 McDonald's, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Arby's, Dominos, KFC, Long John Silver) within a 5 square mile area? No! Is it the majority of the community's persistence to stay politically dormant? No! We are truly proud of the behemoth of a burger found at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub. The 6lb burger goes by the name of Ye Olde 96er, (I'm guessing because of the ounces, but for some reason this doesn't sit right) and it's been helping locals and competitive eaters perpetuate the stereotype that the United States it the fattest country in the world. Can I hear it: U!S!A! U!S!A! Check out the monster mound of meaty flesh below.
Thanks goes out to Paul who sent me this link from the Philadelphia Action News website. Look Ma, we made the interweb! Call up Cindy and the boys and let's get us a Family Feast from the colonel to celebrate. God Bless the US!
If this hasn’t satisfied your appetite for backwater living, then check out the link titled, “Hidden Treasures Play” to see my best friend Trevor in action. He is the bald kid dressed as an Indian. After 4 years of service in the Army Trevor has returned to Clearfield and is attending Penn State (Dubois), acting in various productions and is now a radio personality for our only radio station WOKW. Now Trevor is in danger of being recalled to the service due to stretched resources in the Middle East. Get out there and vote for Kerry in November. Even if you aren’t in direct danger of being called, some of us have friends that are.
3 Comments:
My favorite line in that article was the restaurant owner's daughter somberly saying, 'Dad, I think somebody up here has a 4-pounder.' God bless the US. And God bless the heartland of America where we remember when Atkins was a brand of oil filter and not some diet for hippies and communists. Fuck everyone else.
i love it. competitive eating might be one the funniest things i've read about in years. these people are pretty fucking out there. but can anyone tell me how the winners of these things are mostly small, thin people despite ingesting fifteen thousand calories of fat in one sitting while the rest of this country has to diet like crazy just to look normal? i mean fuck! where's the justice in that? scat turdly
That's true scat. Someone should be thanking me for my heroic intake of chicken wings rather than giving me shit about having a big waist.
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