Jesus once said, "Teach a man to Phish, he eats for a day. Give a man a bottle of acid, a guitar and some talent and hippies will eat for days." Well, Jesus, what do you have to say for us now that Phish is calling it quits? Will acid no longer be fashionable? Will kids in Vermont start bathing again? Will Jerry Garcia return from the dead? The answer to those and many other questions are that Jay Good Times doesn't give a shit. Paul, hold tight baby. I know you must be dying on the inside.
Noah gave me the link to Jam Bands Dot Com which had this to say:
This afternoon Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio posted a statement on the band's web site, indicating that the Coventry performances will be the final gigs for the band. Here is that statement in its entirety
"Last Friday night, I got together with Mike, Page and Fish to talk openly about the strong feelings I've been having that Phish has run its course and that we should end it now while it's still on a high note. Once we started talking, it quickly became apparent that the other guys' feelings, while not all the same as mine, were similar in many ways -- most importantly, that we all love and respect Phish and the Phish audience far too much to stand by and allow it to drag on beyond the point of vibrancy and health. We don't want to become caricatures of ourselves, or worse yet, a nostalgia act. By the end of the meeting, we realized that after almost twenty-one years together we were faced with the opportunity to graciously step away in unison, as a group, united in our friendship and our feelings of gratitude."
"So Coventry will be the final Phish show. We are proud and thrilled that it will be in our home state of Vermont. We're also excited for the June and August shows, our last tour together. For the sake of clarity, I should say that this is not like the hiatus, which was our last attempt to revitalize ourselves. We're done. It's been an amazing and incredible journey. We thank you all for the love and support that you've shown us."
My cheeks hurt from smiling too much, but I do send my deepest sympathy to my friends who truly groove on this band. But, like most of your acid trips, what goes up, must come down.
7 Comments:
Assasinate Rivers. Fuck Jay. Everyone else can smooch-a my balls. I'm the coolest, and I promise to shit each and everyone of your houses.
Paul, come on dude. Why don't you take your burks off, crawl into your teepee and smoke some hash. You will feel better after that. You fucking hippy.
Love Jay
COUNTERPOINT
Please stop using my name on your bullshit website, you can use a pseudonym or something, but please cease your shitty, chain-wallet-loving, converse allstar, too-big-glasses, shitty haircut, shittier band, phony-Pabst-respecting, garage band, pale skinned, cock worship. This goes beyond any hippy bands, or the thousands of bands which were spawned in their shadow. This goes far beyond your hipster fads and your retard friends with cool hairdoes. This goes beyond any "cool" parties with your "cool" "pals" and "cool" DJs. This has come down to one big shitty asshole named Jay, and I want to be left out of it. Go eat shit, Jjjjay Goodtimes, and if you feel like giving me a special Father's Day present, you can jump in front of a crosstown bus with all your sun-fearing, spurious, wannabe truckers. And right before the grill of that big steel horse hits all of you in your ugly heads, I hope it dawns on you that the hipster cult is the disco of our generation. As it runs its course, which it most certainly (and thankfully) will, all you'll be left with is a bunch of laughable records and used clothes for which you probably paid exorbitant amounts. So when you bitches get done with your little game of dress-up, I hope you come back out of Williamsburg, into the real world where the rest of us don't give a shit about what cum-drenched shit band played at Piano's at 7:00 on a Monday. Your hipster badges of honor will be scorned and forsaken by a society who did move forward while you were stuck inside a whirling tornado of pure unadultered shit. Yes, shit. And finally, not to beat a dead horse, but let's not overlook the blaring similarities between your typical dreadlocked, patchwork, granola wookie and your average LES "I'm in a band too" pussified hipster sipping PBR because its "the thing to do", acting poor and dirty while Mom's fronting the bills for their useless lousy life and adding financial fuel to the faddy flames of a subculture that should've died with the Karate Kid. I don't mean to sound like an A-hole...I'm here to help. It's never too late to repent. In the eyes of our lord, Jesus, you hipsters can be saved and born again. But in the eyes of yours truly, you'll always be a bunch of pasty fucks. Repent. Go buy some new records. Your time has come. Finally, getting back to where I began...please leave me and my namesake out of your shitty discussions of shitty people, places, and things. Yours fuckly, Paul
Oh Paul, how shall I reply. Actually I won't because all of your facts aren't right, and at the end of the day, I know all of this is just another ploy to win my love back.
jesus, man. this guy paul is spun. sometimes hipster stuff gets a little banal, i'll agree. but man, this guy spent some serious time writing this tirade. i mean bands break up and sometimes it sucks, but deal with it paul. maybe jay was a little indelicate but i'm with him on this one simply because i hate bitter fanatics. don't sweat this guy paul, jay, and keep up with the entries. scat turdly.
thanks scat. its all about the love with paul and i though. tough love.
Newsflash: Paul is hardly alone in his opinions. Check 'em all out:
http://www.hybridmagazine.com/culture/0902/dasilva.shtml
http://www.hipstersareannoying.com/archive/2002_09_22_archive.html#82068435
http://notahipster.tribe.net/
http://www.blacktable.com/blair031031.htm
http://ubersite.com/m/65257
http://inthebathroomstall.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_inthebathroomstall_archive.html
http://www.barflymag.com/article/why-hipsters-suck.html
http://www.bostonphoenix.com/boston/news_features/out_there/documents/01278200.htm
http://www.farfromstyle.com/WebTypography_HipsterDipshits.html
I'm sure there's more, but I need my sleep.
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