Goddamn Hippies.
A friend of mine, Adam Mandel, was in attendance at last night's Jammy Awards. If you are not familiar with the Jammy's, its an annual award show for jam bands and all things hippie. Adam sent me a run down of last night's festivities and it is quite humorous so I wanted to share. Here is what Adam had to say:
Award for biggest wank-a-thon is between Dickie Betts and Derek Trucks. Who am I kidding? They're both wankers. Slick Rick performed with the Disco Biscuits which was both horrible and hilarious at the same time. Solomon Burke had to get wheeled out on a throne b/c he's so damn fat. Edie Brickell sang a little bit but looked so bored during the 10 minute guitar solo that you could see that she was making mental notes for her grocery list for the next day: "what else? oh yeah Paul wanted me to pick up some brie. Can't forget the brie."
There was an award for best live show, which I think is sort of redundant. As soon as this was announced the hippies in the audience just started yelling out random dates: "dude, 2/28/03!"- unfortunately that wasn't one of the nominees.
There was actually a category called the "New Groove Award" which is amazing enough. A band called Psychedelic Breakfast took home the prize beating out such other "winners" as Raisinhill, Hot Butter Rum String Band and Nero. These are really their names, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. I was laughing so hard when they announced each name that I yelled out "they aren't even trying anymore!!!" Apparently all you have to do to become a jam band is pick some lame hippie name and add some sort of food to it i.e. Buttermilk Squash Groove Odyssey- then proceed to wanking. Before you know it, its >award time. I think the awards must have gone on for over 5 hrs. I only made it thru about 2, the only highlight for me was when Dr. John came out with George Porter of the Meters and Toots of the Maytals and each played one of their hits. This was tolerable. Let's see, what's next? Uh, more wanking. Jesus, am I bored. I am standing up only to give the band a proper "thumbs down". Meanwhile the hippies are loving it.
The only reason I even went was a) because it was free and 2)to see why Perry Farrell was scheduled to appear- except I couldn't last that long. Apparently he played "Idiots Rule" with the fuckin' String Cheese Incident (one of the worst bands on the planet earth)- thank God that I missed it. Also, Flava Flav was supposed to be in the hizzie, but he cancelled at the last minute. I think he realized that what little street cred he has left would be tarnished forever if he went on stage with Widespread Hispanic (an actual band). Yawn.
A friend of mine, Adam Mandel, was in attendance at last night's Jammy Awards. If you are not familiar with the Jammy's, its an annual award show for jam bands and all things hippie. Adam sent me a run down of last night's festivities and it is quite humorous so I wanted to share. Here is what Adam had to say:
Award for biggest wank-a-thon is between Dickie Betts and Derek Trucks. Who am I kidding? They're both wankers. Slick Rick performed with the Disco Biscuits which was both horrible and hilarious at the same time. Solomon Burke had to get wheeled out on a throne b/c he's so damn fat. Edie Brickell sang a little bit but looked so bored during the 10 minute guitar solo that you could see that she was making mental notes for her grocery list for the next day: "what else? oh yeah Paul wanted me to pick up some brie. Can't forget the brie."
There was an award for best live show, which I think is sort of redundant. As soon as this was announced the hippies in the audience just started yelling out random dates: "dude, 2/28/03!"- unfortunately that wasn't one of the nominees.
There was actually a category called the "New Groove Award" which is amazing enough. A band called Psychedelic Breakfast took home the prize beating out such other "winners" as Raisinhill, Hot Butter Rum String Band and Nero. These are really their names, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. I was laughing so hard when they announced each name that I yelled out "they aren't even trying anymore!!!" Apparently all you have to do to become a jam band is pick some lame hippie name and add some sort of food to it i.e. Buttermilk Squash Groove Odyssey- then proceed to wanking. Before you know it, its >award time. I think the awards must have gone on for over 5 hrs. I only made it thru about 2, the only highlight for me was when Dr. John came out with George Porter of the Meters and Toots of the Maytals and each played one of their hits. This was tolerable. Let's see, what's next? Uh, more wanking. Jesus, am I bored. I am standing up only to give the band a proper "thumbs down". Meanwhile the hippies are loving it.
The only reason I even went was a) because it was free and 2)to see why Perry Farrell was scheduled to appear- except I couldn't last that long. Apparently he played "Idiots Rule" with the fuckin' String Cheese Incident (one of the worst bands on the planet earth)- thank God that I missed it. Also, Flava Flav was supposed to be in the hizzie, but he cancelled at the last minute. I think he realized that what little street cred he has left would be tarnished forever if he went on stage with Widespread Hispanic (an actual band). Yawn.
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