I'm Afraid of November.
Until this weekend, I thought Conspiracy Theory was just a high budget box office smash featuring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts. The 1997 film followed the zany Jerry Fletcher (Gibson) through his daily routine of damning the government and concocting outlandish conspiracies against it. His life changed when he stumbled upon a conspiracy that was actually true.
Ok, Ok, I’m done with the rant about bullshit nineties cinema. No one cares. What you should focus your attention on is this year’s Race to the White House. This weekend leading hippie brainwash artist, Ralph Nader decided to throw his already limp dick back on the table. Why does this man have to get back in the mix? His feeble attempt to gain 5% of the popular vote in the 2000 election ended in disappointment for white kids with dreadlocks all across these United States.
Don’t get me wrong. Ralph Nader has been a valuable asset to this country. His consumer advocacy has helped all of us at one point or another. To be perfectly honest, I even voted for the man in the last election. Don’t jump to conclusions. I’m a blue blood capitalistic Democrat like most of you, but I was interested in seeing the party get it's 5% which would in turn give them a grant for government funding. This funding could have been the beginning of the decomposition of our two party system. It’s a shame that all the effort was a waste of time, especially when Nader supporters could have been playing hacky sack and smoking fatties. Now I don’t want to say that all Nader supporters are tackles hippies, but they are (excluding myself, of course).
So this is a public outcry to Mr. Nader. Please don’t mess this election up for our country. If you care about the country's current state of affairs you will drop your name from the ticket and let the Democrats have a fair fight against the Republicans. Now I know some people might say it will be the Democratic Nominee’s race to lose, but stacking the odds in George’s favor won’t help any of us. Mr. Nader go home. My new conspiracy is that you are working for the Bush Campaign. You aren't fooling anyone.
Let's not forget that we are not only voting for a President, but we are voting against Bush.
Until this weekend, I thought Conspiracy Theory was just a high budget box office smash featuring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts. The 1997 film followed the zany Jerry Fletcher (Gibson) through his daily routine of damning the government and concocting outlandish conspiracies against it. His life changed when he stumbled upon a conspiracy that was actually true.
Ok, Ok, I’m done with the rant about bullshit nineties cinema. No one cares. What you should focus your attention on is this year’s Race to the White House. This weekend leading hippie brainwash artist, Ralph Nader decided to throw his already limp dick back on the table. Why does this man have to get back in the mix? His feeble attempt to gain 5% of the popular vote in the 2000 election ended in disappointment for white kids with dreadlocks all across these United States.
Don’t get me wrong. Ralph Nader has been a valuable asset to this country. His consumer advocacy has helped all of us at one point or another. To be perfectly honest, I even voted for the man in the last election. Don’t jump to conclusions. I’m a blue blood capitalistic Democrat like most of you, but I was interested in seeing the party get it's 5% which would in turn give them a grant for government funding. This funding could have been the beginning of the decomposition of our two party system. It’s a shame that all the effort was a waste of time, especially when Nader supporters could have been playing hacky sack and smoking fatties. Now I don’t want to say that all Nader supporters are tackles hippies, but they are (excluding myself, of course).
So this is a public outcry to Mr. Nader. Please don’t mess this election up for our country. If you care about the country's current state of affairs you will drop your name from the ticket and let the Democrats have a fair fight against the Republicans. Now I know some people might say it will be the Democratic Nominee’s race to lose, but stacking the odds in George’s favor won’t help any of us. Mr. Nader go home. My new conspiracy is that you are working for the Bush Campaign. You aren't fooling anyone.
Let's not forget that we are not only voting for a President, but we are voting against Bush.
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